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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I put my foot down

27 replies

Noodlenation · 02/08/2024 09:20

How do some women have their partners locked? By this I mean under the thumb?
mine doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t help with kids
just thinks because he earns money that’s it
he doesn’t have to do anything else

I don’t work so he will always be like well you go out and work and I’ll watch the kids do all your home chores.
I’ve seen men work silly hours and come back home and help with everything.
anyone have a solution?
i know some are going to post well leave his chores, don’t do anything for him
but how long does that last? Won’t that push them away further?
have you done this and it’s worked? And they suddenly start doing everything?
if you consider your partner locked down, what’s your secret, how do you get him to respect you

I don’t mean control, I mean respect you so that he then starts listening to everything and not making it an issue

thank you

OP posts:
yepyouknow · 07/08/2024 07:54

Noodlenation · 02/08/2024 10:30

being a mum is 24 hour job with no breaks. So if I want the guy that’s helped me produce them to pull his weight then I think that’s fair.

to be fair
you have 2 school aged children
so i’m sure you get some breaks

Gyh863 · 07/08/2024 08:07

You can’t really make someone behave a certain way, well unless it’s abusive.. Essentially you make sure they are a kind and respectful person before you have kids with them. I think your only option is to leave, but try to just tell him you’ve had enough first.

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