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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex troubles

7 replies

Lollypopzmummy · 14/04/2008 16:07

Well not major one's but Dh says it might be worth sending him a message or something (via MySpace as I haven't actually spoken to him in over 6 years!!).

Ok here's the story: (nutshell jobby, might have to fill in any gaps as and when Q's are asked!):

I was 17 when we got together in college, didn't plan on having a very long relationship (was told that, as I wanted to lose my virginity, fat guys have small willies= it hurts less I know tragic reason for going out with someone!!) ended up in a year and half relationship with the morbidly obese git as he constantly cried suicide threats at me whenever I tried to dump him (lots of random crap in between, attention seeking lies and a spot of assault that was never cleared up as to whether it was intentional or an accident but you get the gist right?!).
So, at 19 I legged it 100 miles that way >>> and, after 2 weeks, he got the hint, phoned me and dumped me, problem solved! Couldn't be happier!

Got together with DH upon my return, got married after 3 years, had DD1, and now DD2.
All's fine over here, but come across an old friend and am told that he'd heard some rather interesting things about me over the past couple of years (but the friend doesn't want to tell tales, and doesn't really believe it anyway, but thinks that it might be worth looking into as it could "sully my good reputation" (I didn't know I had such a good reputation but there you go!! )

I'm thinking it could just be the same old attention seeking BS or he could've made up some real nasty stuff (he used to make stuff up about his own family! but when you're that young you'd rather believe the intense stuff than the mundane truth!)
Also, I'm not entirely sure that my friend has heard this from my ex or whether it's the sort of thing that his new friend's might have been influenced into saying (i.e: calling me names etc, insinuating that I'd be the type to sell my body under the cover of darkness and what not) or if it could be the "evil ex girlfriend" syndrome and his new GF has been doing a little dabbling of her own?

Normally I wouldn't bother as I don't indulge in idle gossip, and certainly wouldn't want to allow him back into my life (as he holds no interest and no use that I can see) but DH has now said that maybe I should just ask him what's been said. . . although saying that I'm not even sure if he'd tell me the truth any way. . . but then again he may have grown up a bit, it being 6 years on and all that.

I would like to just leave well alone but people are poking me now!!
Suggestions please?!
You may also use this thread for ex horror stories of your own (I like the sense of community
here!)

OP posts:
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 14/04/2008 16:13

Steer well clear! Anyone who knows you will know it's crap, and anyone else doesn't matter. Certainly not worth contacting him over. Remember, all he wants is to get your attention, and knowing he's getting to you will be very gratifying for him.

SheWillBeLoved · 14/04/2008 16:20

Completely agree with Kat. Don't contact him, just pity him for the fact that after so many years, he still hasn't moved on and is as immature as ever.

beaniesteve · 14/04/2008 16:22

Just ignore it, it was so long ago!

littlewoman · 14/04/2008 16:30

Never poke a wasp nest!! Leave well alone, IMO. It's not fair, but it will be a lot quieter if you maintain the status quo.

Julezboo · 14/04/2008 17:05

Ignore, ignore ignore!!

I have a similar ex, for the last 2 years Ive ignored his stupid emails etc... they still keep coming but not so often now, myab eonce every 6 months

Lollypopzmummy · 14/04/2008 20:47

Thanks ladies, at last a nudge in the right direction!

You're right, he must just be vying for my attention to be stirring after so long, and I don't have the time to be wasting on letting him know that it might bother me (well, my DH any way lol)

OP posts:
Janos · 14/04/2008 20:58

Oh yuk, I agree with eveyone else he sounds like a complete nightmare. Ignore, ignore, ignore as he is probably trying to get a
reaction.

I dated a guy like this once and he was a histrionic prat. No one will take him seriously.

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