Would this be a mistake

[Sunshine186]

I have two children under 10 to my ex husband. We have been separated 7 years. No abuse, struggled with our relationship after having our first child.

7 years later, we have both has other relationships but both been single for a year. I've always loved him and I care about him a lot. I was devastated when we split up but worked on myself and had counselling.

Fast forward to now. We have a great relationship, co parent very well, go for meals with the kids, have a little trip planned with them later on in the year, go to a their school stuff together etc.

We communicate most days, mainly about the kids.When I was in my previous relationship he said he messed everything up and regretted us not workin Would it be a huge mistake if I asked him if he wanted to meet up with just me? Am I imaging he could feel the same way as me, would I get over the embarrassment if he said no. Obviously the kids would not know as I would not want to confuse them.

We are both nearly 40. I was with someone else for 3 years but always thought about my ex and never felt the same for anyone else.

What should I do, I don't know if this would be a huge mistake. Help!

Life's too short not to do something...and potentially live with regrets. You can at least raise something in conversation that might help you understand his feelings and see if it's worth breaking your current good status quo over.

Would suggest some hard thinking first on the reasons why it didn't work. Were they things that were 'at that time related' or to do with fundamentally how each of you are and how you get on together.

Do it OP!

Do it , do it , do it .

Life is too short. Tell him how you feel, what you're thinking.

What's meant to be will certainly be.

I would talk to him, and if you are both wanting to get back together, I would only consider doing so if you have couple's counselling to help you decide if getting back together is a reasonable idea.

Will you be alone on the trip after the kids go to bed. With a glass of wine on a balcony...

@Sunshine186 is he giving anything to make you feel like he may want a relationship with you?

It is a Christmas city break.

Gluehwein and a duvet? I don't know...

People break up for a reason and we tend to fantasise when we are lonely about a time which we thought things were better than ohr current situation. Ie being alone.
Things for me would be so risky with young under 10 children. You have to sit down and really write down a list of pros and cons and see what you come up with.
And really really look at him and the situation and think to yourself is it really worth puttin the kids through , if you don't work out and you will find your answer OP. 
@Sunshine186

To be honest I'm not sure. He is quite shy and I think if he did want to he is unlikely to make this clear. He lingers to talk to me, has offered to help in any way he can when I move (I'm buying a house). He has offered to help decorate and build furniture.

Yes agreed, I almost am weary of my feelings incase this is what is happening.

I don't feel lonely but every time I see him I want more time with him. I'm not interested in dating anyone else.

The list is a good suggestion, I'll do that.

Neither of us would want the kids unsettled, they are such happy kids.

I think this is lovely, and could have potential, and I think you have some opportunities to make it happen given the right circumstances (which is probably carving out a bit of extra together time around the kids, who will be so used to the usual situation of two loving parents anyway). I can understand your nervousness - the stakes are probably higher than a new relationship, so going slowly is no hardship, but being accepting that he might have moved on in his head has to be a thing that you might have to face. If you can be cool with that, and can recover your dignity, then go for it. I hope it works xx