So bit of a strange one, I have a 3yo by someone else. But I had a new partner who lives next door (they do say don’t sh*t on your doorstep) and we were friends for a year then dating for around 10 months. I felt very strongly but he felt alot stronger, completely infatuated with me, very good with my son who he already knew because we were neighbours (otherwise he wouldn’t of met him).
always been very on and off, many times I broke it off with him because he was being too immature or I was having to “mum” him! Anyway, he recently took it upon himself to get into a confrontational situation with my sons dad ! (Sons dad doesn’t see my son- abusive past but not physical and we’ve been through courts and all settled with a consent order for son to be in my care and no spends time with for father as agreed by all parties). So that was obviously a lot of stress and I’ve only just managed to settle and move on fully, until he went and got into an altercation with him!
Ex (neighbour) came and told me and I was furious and said I don’t condone violence or nasty behaviour despite past and immediately broke it off for obvious reasons. I didn’t want any part in it for me or my son. Until this point it had been a fairly ok relationship and the ups and downs were that of a normal situation.
He did some grovelling but I stood firm. Anyway we didn’t speak for around 5 days the situation died down and nothing came of it thank god. But then yesterday I saw him and he completely blanked me which I found rude and awkward especially as we’re neighbours so I sent a message to basically say no need for that keep it civil. To which I got an influx of abuse!!
the abuse was all complete opposite of what he said during the relationship. For example, he always said what a brilliant mum I am and now he’s saying I can’t even look after my own child (I’ve single handed my raised my son and he’s very well rounded lol) so that was untrue. He said some spiteful things like I am ugly and make him sick and I am a catfish and disgusting inside and out. He said my son should be with his dad (which baffles me after he got into the altercation with him to “defend my honour”). Basically called me all the names under the Sun and it was very very hurtful.
now I’m feeling like absolute rubbish! If he wants to call me ugly etc then that’s his opinion. Not sure I look any different from what I did last week when I was the most beautiful person he’d laid eyes on😂! But what really got me is commenting on my parenting abilities. This man used to hound me for a baby! He wanted me to be the mother of his children, he wanted to marry me, I could do NO wrong. And now suddenly I am the worst person in the word I make him feel nauseous and he wants to “show me a side of him I will regret seeing”.
please no nasty comments or blaming. I just need a little bit of a boost! I’m not insecure about my looks etc but I will admit I am A little curious as to whether he actually thinks those things? And as for the comments on my parenting that really hurt and I don’t know why he’s done a complete U turn. He’s gone from last Thursday being absolutely besotted to the point he’s willing to fight another human who he thinks hurt me! To this! Opinions? Why is he doing and saying this stuff? Why do I feel like I can’t do any better than him? Why do I take these insults from someone who lives with their parents, doesn’t drive or work, has to be told by me to brush their teeth and change their pants. And yet I’m sat in tears because he’s ripped me to shreds about my whole life! None of which is true
please someone help me feel a bit less shitty