I am holding a lot of resentment to my husband and I don't know if I can get over it. In the last few years all of the issues I raise are either met with "Well you do that too" or that I did XYZ thing and that's why he is doing what I am upset about. It makes me feel crazy and somehow he says that he walks on eggshells with me and that he cannot raise any issues without me being defensive. He has also talked to me like a child on occasion - will shout at me to sit up straight or tell me off for mumbling.
I have also had a troubled past as was sexually abused by a family member as a young teen and I think he has at times used this against me when we have an argument. He constantly says I love playing a victim - he thinks I have enjoyed being the victim all of my life so now I interpret his behaviour as being abusive or controlling when its not. He has also said to me you are going to turn in to a person who treated me quite badly after SA and I am now NC with - she's very selfish/ bitter and he says I am turning into her. I'm struggling to think of other things like this he has said. But things similar to this and also that I will just never be happy no matter what. He really gets to me as part of me believes him but all I want is to be happy. Despite this, he tells me he loves me and I am his best friend. I feel some of his comments are hurtful and hard to forget. AIBU to find these hard to forget?