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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don’t love my husband and I want a divorce

5 replies

Cicilia · 31/07/2024 06:16

I have been with my husband since 2017. I was very young when I met him. I Was 21 and he was 35. We met while I was waitressing, He would come into to the restaurant. In the beginning, I feel like he swept me off my feet, but as time has gone on, and I have matured, I realized that he never has any plans or substantial goals, and that bothers me.

We have 2 small children. And me working has been a problem for him since I’ve had the kids. He is against daycare.. But we struggle when it is just him working. I found a job earlier in the year and he made me quit after my first day. He complains about bills, yells at me and gets very irate when the bills mount up.. but he wants to dictate what kind of job I can and can’t I do. And the times. (Im a teacher) It is very difficult because I feel like I’m up against the wall and nothing I do is acceptable. He insists that I work from home, but it is very difficult with two small children Running around in the background.

Besides that he has just lost my trust over the years. No cheating to my knowledge, but he just does not keep his word. For instance, if the kids have a doctors appointment, he will make me change it last minute and it may take 2 to 3 months before I get another appointment.. he cancels important events last minute! He Dictates where I go. We only have one car so he has controlled my movement. When I was single, I had two cars and was very independent. I now feel like a caged bird. And I feel like a divorce would set me free again. I have many personal goals regarding my career and personal life. I want my children to grow up in a healthy atmosphere.. and I don’t want them to learn that inconsistency and not keeping your word is a good thing.

I feel like I’m a good wife. I naturally gravitate to domestic work and love cooking and keeping My Home clean when he wants to talk after a long day I’m all ears.. but dealing with him is a battle to say the least. I’m exhausted.

OP posts:
SquishyGloopyBum · 31/07/2024 06:20

He sounds abusive op. For what it's worth you are doing the right thing. Can you make a plan? You need to be careful as he may get worse when he realises he's loosing control of you.

Sethera · 31/07/2024 06:21

He is controlling you, making you quit your job and limiting your movements. You need to leave him.

Magicmonster · 31/07/2024 06:21

im so sorry that you are in this situation. He sounds emotionally abusive and I agree with you that sadly things aren’t going to get any better. I assume you’ve tried talking to him. I also have a very difficult husband (in different ways) and I know that in my case if I try talking to him it all just ends in him getting angry.

TheBottomsOfMyTrousersAreRolled · 31/07/2024 06:22

SquishyGloopyBum · 31/07/2024 06:20

He sounds abusive op. For what it's worth you are doing the right thing. Can you make a plan? You need to be careful as he may get worse when he realises he's loosing control of you.

This. Abusive men dont like losing control. Seek help first.

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 31/07/2024 06:38

How can he make you quit your job ? You are an adult Is he controlling you.

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