Should I reach out to him

[Skinnylatina]

NC for this one!

so I was seeing this guy in February. All was going well. He was going through a divorce at the time and it was getting dirty- solicitors letters back and forth, and they had a court date in May as his ex had taken him to court for assets when mediation wasn’t successful.

i saw that it stressed him and it was mostly on his mind when we were together. It was such a good relationship we were forming. And we always said how close and connected we felt to each other.

Sadly, he started pulling away and said it was as a result of how he handled the stress caused by the divorce etc. I offered my support in anyway he wanted. He got more and more silent and uncommunicative. Then sometime in April I got this message from him:
Hey really sorry. Have not felt like being in touch with anyone. It’s totally unfair on you but just don’t want to be around people at the moment. Hope you’re Ok

I thanked him for letting me know and we haven’t communicated since then. In fact he’s normally have 2 blue ticks when he reads my message but since April I just looked and it’s still 2 grey ticks so he might not even have bothered to open the message.

I haven’t contacted him for two reasons- 1. I’m ‘scared’ he will leave me on read or delivered. 2. A bit of pride/ego.

Before he pulled away and went silent, he told me on a date that he feels like a ‘fraud’ and a crap date cos he had baggage (in his own words).

In the last couple of weeks, I have started to miss him a bit. I want to reach out but like I said above, I don’t want my anxiety to be triggered if he doesn’t respond etc. We had each other on Apple Watch activities and I noticed he removed me about a month ago.

what would you do? Would you reach out to ask how he’s doing? Or just leave it?

thanks in advance 😘

Just leave it. If he had the headspace and wanted to get back in touch he would do, he's either genuinely overwhelmed or he wasn't that into it, either way I don't think you'll get the outcome you're after given your last msg hasn't even been opened.

Leave it. He knows where you are if he wants you. This is not the love of your life who it would be a shame to give up on.

Def leave it. He’s not opened you message and he’s deleted you from other sources. Thats pretty clear, he doesn’t want to pursue anything with you. Sorry to sound harsh but sometimes it helps to be told in no uncertain terms. Move on and meet someone new. If you’re lonely, go out with the girls and do some new things where you might meet some new guys.

Leave it, he didn't bother reading your last message, so he's not interested in the slightest.

I would find him deeply unattractive, lots of emotional baggage and going silent, why would you chase that. find someone else that's fun and engaging to date.

Oh god. Leave it. You’ll feel so awful if he doesn’t reply. Hopefully he’ll get in touch in the future if things settle down but if not, he wasn’t meant for you.

I would leave it.

Yes I’ll leave it. I just needed this head wobble. I went off OLD since that whole thing but I’ll go back and see what catches my attention.

The grey ticks are what makes it a no for me. That’s clearly on purpose, so leave it.

I had such a similar experience recently - I was dating someone back in April and he totally love bombed me and would text constantly, call every night for hours etc etc. Then all of a sudden, he decided he was having second thoughts about how far away I lived and if anything came of the relationship (he already told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend at this point knowing full well where I lived….) then he would end up moving to my area as my kids are settled here and he would be too far from his own kids.

He said he needed to think about things. Then he would go a week without messaging and I would message him asking if he had reached a conclusion and he would say “I know it’s not fair on you but I’m just trying to decide and work is busy” etc etc.

Eventually, I had enough after about 6 weeks of him “thinking about things” and just said don’t bother because I’m done. He never messaged me back to that message.

It sucks but sometimes people are too afraid to just dump someone outright and create excuses as to why there needs to be distance and it sounds like that’s what happened to me and to you.

Always remember, if they wanted to, they would find a way.

So I would leave it and move on and find someone who couldn’t imagine being without you even if there were obstacles in the way.

He told you he didn't want to continue the relationship (for w/e reason).
He didn't read your message.
He removed you from an apple app.

What part of that is him saying "please contact me"?

Stop being so rude!! There’s no reason for that. Keyboard warrior - did you see me say up there that I wasn’t going to contact him?

Thank you for sharing your experience. Yes it does suck. I have honestly moved past it but a memory of one of our dated came up on my phone and I missed the time we had and thought to message.
By the time I had written my original post, went out for dinner with my friend and came back, I was fine again and deleted photos, messages and any trace of him on my phone.
He’s firmly past tense in my world at this point. I had a moment in weakness yesterday.

Thank you ☺️

No. Don't go into relationships with people who need fixing.

He’s not interested for whatever reason. Don’t put yourself up for more disappointment