Am I in the wrong?

[Husbandd]

Hi this is my first time to post on here as I am hoping to get some perspective. I am quite a quiet person in general and that has never really been too much of a problem. Recently and on a an almost monthly cycle my Wife decides that I am being intense and causing an atmosphere. I truly believe that she is the one changing her behaviour towards me yet she will not listen when I tell her this and accuses me of gas lighting her. I am unsure of how to resolve this as it is getting tedious that it happens every month and lasts for a few days.

What causes or triggers this OP, can you think of anything? Being a quiet person in general and causing an atmosphere/being intense are two different things really. As in if you are just a quiet person then that’s just your personality, but if you’re especially quiet after an argument for example then I can see why that is maybe seen as causing an atmosphere? There’s a difference I think between happy/content quiet and sulking/huffy quiet.

Might it be that at certain times she needs more from you (maybe she’s stressed at work, stress in home life, not feeling well for example) and so in those instances she needs extra support, someone to chat to, so at those times she finds it harder and comments on it?

It’s hard to tell really without understanding what you mean by being a quiet person. Do you mean you don’t chat/small talk at home? Or do you mean that you’re just quiet in a group outing for example?

Are you implying that she is pre-menstrual?

Once a month you say? Strokes chin. I wonder why.

I am not sure exactly what causes it but I believe it is hormonal changes in her which changes her reactions and expectations towards me.

when I say I am quiet in general this is more that if I am watching television or reading something I observe it and process it internally. My Wife prefers to discuss it in the moment.

This sounds small when you put it on here but I feel I am punished for being the same person with moods and threats of divorce.

Really, you have to let us know whether this 'almost once a month' phenomenon happens in the week before her period starts.

So the basic issue is that your wife would sometimes prefer to chat and you want to ignore her because you are watching TV.

For a few days a month, her patience with this rudeness wears thin and she complains.

Have you considered that it is possible to interact with your wife, and then watch catchup TV? That implying that TV is more important than your life partner is pretty thoughtless and ill mannered. I assume she doesn't try to prevent you watching TV 24 hours a day.

Ah, you again. You not bored of making shit up yet?

I agree with @Meadowfinch

give your wife your time