Hi everyone! I have been on four dates with a guy I met off of Hinge. Bear with me, it's kind of a long situation.
We talk primarily over text, which is fine, since we're both busy people. In general, he's a really sweet guy, with (seemingly) good intentions. We're both looking for long-term relationships, which is great. However, he has a strange vibe around me and I can't quite put my finger on what it is.
I guess the thing that really sticks out to me is the fact that we've never had a serious conversation without it turning into banter. For example, yesterday I was talking about how the early 2000s felt like they were only 5-10 years ago, and he just started giggling. When I asked why he was laughing, he said that kept saying 'nothing, that's not weird at all'. Normally, this doesn't bother me, since I love banter, but this has happened consistently, both over text and in-person. This also happened again when I was talking about how much has changed since Covid, and how we don't sanitize our hands as often, and the same thing happened again. I also tried talking about how a lot of me and my girlfriends love HomeSense, the dollarstore, and getting bowl plates (and I stand by that--bowl plates are awesome! <3), to which he just smirked and acted like I was the only one, saying that liking bowl-plates is my weird hyperfixation. I just found it odd, since it kept happening, when I was really trying to make conversation and share my own interests. As a result, most of our conversations seem to consist of banter and whenever I've tried to switch things up, we end up back at sqaure one.
The other thing. We've been on four dates so we did have sex and he's slept over. But everytime, I've been the one to iniate physical contact (eg. kissing, cuddling, etc.). Once we start, he's into it, which makes me believe his lack of initiation isn't related to his interest. But I do find it strange that he's never made a move, even when saying bye. It was me who initiated it last time. Yesterday, I decided to see if he would make a move to kiss me, or hold my hand while walking down the street, and watching a movie in a theater, but nada. Again, usually I would take this as a lack of interest, but everytime we've seen each, it's because he's asked.
Lastly, he told me yesterday that he was intimidated by me. Of course, I asked him why and he just kinda giggled to himself. Now that I think about it, it makes sense. When we were out walking yesterday, he waited til I was hungry so we could get food, even though he'd been hungry and longer than I had been. He also kinda tiptoes around me, like in the past when he's stayed over, he's never asked--more like hinted towards it? He'll say things like 'I'm just so tired to drive back' or 'I guess I'll drink this cold coffee so I can stay awake for my drive home' instead of asking me. From my end, I don't think that I've done anything to make him feel intimdated. I've never heard my friends or any guy I'm seeing say that about me, but then again, I can't be objective.
So I guess what I'm asking is, how can I address this? I'm not sure if the entire relationship is worth throwing away over this, since he's super sweet and I do enjoy talking to him (when he's not giggling haha). My best friend said that he seems insecure to the point where it's impacting our dynamic, and told me to end it. Has anyone experienced anything like this before? And how can I address it? I do also realize that this may just be normal and I'm over thinking, which is pretty classic!