A little rant because I need to straighten my head before I loose my mind!
I'm 25f he's 29m, we've been together for 3 years and I have a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship in which she doesn't see much of her father.
My partner is amazing with my daughter, they're best mates and he helps a lot with her childcare/school pickups. But...that's it??
I feel like I'm just floating around the house with a live in - babysitter? He does the dishes for me sometimes, and randomly, I'd say once every 3 months, will go all out on the garden? But I benefit nothing on a personal level. He doesn't want to do anything with me, he won't plan days out, he wont cook or suggest new meals, he won't wash his clothes and leaves his dirty clothes in the WEIRDEST places.
Context! I was BORED after putting my daughter to bed the other night. We usually play video games together in the evening, or just chill in each others company, but Its been feeling very repetitive recently, and its driving me insane. So I suggested, let's watch a film! But no, he was playing his game so he would watch it so there's no point in putting it on, apparently.
Its the summer holidays, I ask if he's got any ideas on stuff he wants to do as a family as he currently has two weeks off work! He said...'i don't know, we could go for a walk'.
He told me he was bored with nothing to do yesterday afternoon I got home from work, but he's left wet washing in the washing machine, walked grass through the house after going outside and not swept it up. We've got about 7 shelves he's bought and not put up, unfinished flooring, painting, the dog hadn't had a walk, he hadn't even thought about dinner.
Don't even get me started on the whole common sense thing. He will ask me where things are without even looking, he will making stupid mistakes which could be avoided if he had used his brain! He will ask me questions about things I've told him 100 times, proving that he doesn't listen. I've spoken to him about this and the conclusion of that conversation was that it's clearly just a man thing and he can't help that his brain doesn't retain information???
It just feels like he doesn't care anymore. When we first met, he'd plan dates, cook me breakfast, he was SO clean and tidy. We would talk for hours about random things, laugh for hours about nothing. but the best I get it 'do you want a drink from the corner shop' and a big exhausted sigh after he's done the dishes, as if he's climbed a mountain?? This past 6 months has been so boring.
Maybe I'm expecting too much?? We both work, he works 30 hours a week, I work 20-25, and I'm about to start a part time uni course in September. He hates his job but won't look for a new one, he says he wants to exercise or pick up old hobby's, but never does. Even after all the motivation in the work from me. It's just boring, I'm a lively, outgoing, active person and he's just....boring.
Im a big 'if you want to do something, just do it' person and I'm starting to think, if he wanted to ...he would?
Let m know your thoughts, my gut is telling me something's not right but I don't even know what.