I think my mum is dying

[Doteycat]

I say I think because I am NC.
Im a silent member of the stately homes thread.
I only know through a 3rd party.
No one has let me know, and I know they dont have to, but my mum is dying.
I actually dont know whats coming, nothing or a tsunami.

What do you want to do?

Nothing.
Nothing I can do. Except mind my mental health and try not to let it engulf me.
I dont know what else I can do.

If you feel nothing, don't feel guilty about it.

When mine dies I will feel relief that a major source of torment in my life is finally gone.

if you feel that when the time comes don’t beat yourself up about it, consider it a new birthday and be free

@Doteycat I've been through this. Very very LC with my mum and dad and NC with my 3 sisters. Mum, dad, 2 sisters now dead. It wasn't without any feelings but the feelings were mine and they were manageable and they didn't have to conform to anyone else's ideas of what I ought to feel. I have no regrets as to how I distanced myself from my dysfunctional birth family. The choice was the right one before they died and it's still the right one.
You'll be OK. Get appropriate support that's on your side, be it friends, partner, or therapist.
Wishing you well. You will get through this. ❤️‍🩹

Wierdly I think ill be ok when its finally over. He died a few years ago.
I think i cannot get over the fact that "people" know, and havent the humanity to let me know.
Men in prison for murder get told their mothers are dying dont they?
Its breathtaking how awful some "people" can be.
Im v lucky, I have a wonderful husband and really strong supportive loving daughters, 3 strong women I know will hold me up when this comes.

Have you siblings, Op?

You are in a very difficult situation. I think (and this is no criticism of you) then if you choose to be no contact with someone, other people might assume that you don't want to know anything about that person.

Yes, I do, the flying monkeys, and one with me.
I know, I do get that, but I know thats not whats happening here.
I know its done to hurt, to exclude and to "show me".
I had reconciled with my folks, but the flying monkeys made it impossible and his death was the worst day of my life from them, and not because my father had died.
This is not their decision to make, but they are making it.