So sorry OP. About 16 years ago I found myself in a relationship with a man who I feel head over heels in love with. About a year into the relationship I discovered he had a porn addiction. I should have realised as the signs were all there but I didn't.
It utterly broke my heart and I lost all respect for him really. It made me insecure, feel humiliated and anxious. He didn't like it either and wanted to stop. He did try and but it impossible. He tried to restrict himself to vanilla porn but I don't think it worked. He said only about 5% of it actually turned him on but despite this he felt compelled to do it everyday in case he missed any 'new ones'. He said he started on quite tame stuff but then got bored and it didn't turn him on anymore so he moved on to 'worse' stuff and then he got desesitised to that and so then he had to watch even 'worse' stuff to get any kind of reaction.
Our relationship consisted of him being affectionate, nice etc but having next to no sexual interest in me (and I was still young, slim and attractive in those days). I practically use to have to beg for sex and it was demeaning and awful
I drove myself mad trying to police him and it was a relief when we broke up.
I learned alot about the porn industry from that experience and it is horrifying.
It never used to bother me in the days of top shelf magazines and the odd video but today with so much of it on the internet and it has gone way, way beyond what we used to have.
It literally seems that men have thought up dozens and dozens of new ways to penetrate, violate , humiliate and hurt women.
If you go onto a porn site and watch some of the retro or vintage porn you will see that it is quite different. Whilst there is still some things that I don't think the average couple does there was alot of just 'normal' sex with normal things like bj's for him and oral sex for her. There didn't seem to be a huge majority of porn where women where being humiliated, hurt, degraded like there is now.
It really woke me up to a world that I didn't want to know about where men seem so much more scary than they did before.
After all if they are making this stuff then men must be watching it.
My ex was also obsessed with pregnant woman (ironic since he didn't actually want kids) and told me men had forums where they discussed pregnant woman (yes he sounds like a great catch!)
I read once upon a time that you used to have to go out of your way to see porn but nowadays you have to go out of your way to NOT see porn.
I am very glad I was a young dating women in the era where the cool thing of porn was oral sex for women and all the men seemed to want to practice on you. I would hate to be a young person today where it seems men expect anal sex, to strangle you, choke you and come on your face all by date 4. (I know it's not all men but among the younger men it is becoming a pattern)
No thanks. It is very worrying indeed.
Even nice boys who have been brought up in good families are bound to be affected and influenced by this as they go through puberty and have the huge sex drives of young men. So many threads on here where the man is not interested in having sex with his partner because he is wanked out looking at porn.
I worked with (I was his manager) a sweet, polite, lovely young man who was about 20 when I was late thirties. It turned out he was watching porn at work and going off to the toilets to bat one out. He got given a warning. He got moved seats to a more open position where people could see his screen. He still couldn't stop and got caught doing it again. He was fired. He wasn't creepy or pervy and he was mortified when he got caught again. He was a good kid from a good family who had grown up in an era of never ending easily got at porn.
Sorry I have no answers for you. Even if you ended this relationship who's to say the next guy won't have the same problem. For that reason if he is willing I would suggest he tries to get help first. If he can't give it up only you can decide what to do.