Advice please

[Debz0581]

Been with my partner 12 years, we have a child of 9, still not married or even cohabiting. He hasn’t took me on a date in 4 years never buy me gifts as in special occasions. Yet I treat him if I get little windfalls etc. he always lies about what he has earned I.e he said he only had £20 Friday yet he’s spent about £150 since that day. He very rarely provides for his child . What should I do?

He’s not a partner. He’s a leech. Drop him back in the river and enjoy your life without him. Maybe you’ll meet someone better or maybe you’ll be happy on your own. But being shackled to this clown is no good for you. You deserve better.

Grow a backbone, fill in the forms for CMS and go independent. Set up a schedule for him to see your child and stick to it.

Claim CMS. Don't treat him anymore this is not a partner he is a leech

What are you getting from this "relationship".
Do you want this to continue, have you talked to him about this?

What’s your primary concern, the not cohabiting, lack of marriage or the money? I’m assuming you are feeling he just generally isn’t committed … but is that the dynamic you have chosen for the relationship?

Nothing I’m mainly here because of my daughter. He lost his mum suddenly now his dad is on end of life with dementia etc… I know what the right thing to do is … it’s doing it . I’m just a convenience etc

Claim CMS, organise a contact schedule and crack on as what you already are - a single parent.

What should I do?

Come on now.

Op, if you refuse to value yourself and choose to stay with a man who blatantly has no respect for you, nothing we advise will ever matter. This is all on you. You, and what you choose to tolerate, are the actual problem here.

First step: stop treating him if you get a windfall.

You must know everyone will say to leave him, right? What is the real question.

All of the above, it’s all on me . I’ve had enough I feel as though he’s m extra child to provide for. False promises etc I just want a quiet life after a previous relationship so I’ve settled and now it’s not enough. I’m tired of being spoken to like I’m nothing. I mean I’m the divvy. I even walked the garage for him I’m the dark at 2.30 am Friday…… that was the mail in the coffin. I mean what man has a woman go in the dark on thier own …. Exactly I’m the divvy for going but it says it all

Why are you walking to a garage for him at 0230am… would he do that for you? Have you raised these issues with him?

I know what I have to do I just need support in doing it . That sounds stupid I know but I’ve been very unwell for two years and it’s taken a lot for me to get where I am know …… sometimes situations are easier said than done x

sometimes situations are easier said than done

I put it to you that your situation would be a hell of a lot easier without this deadweight. Why do you let him disrespect you in the way he does? What, other than feeling frustrated and martyred, do you get out of this 'relationships?

Please, for your child's sake if nothing else, grow a backbone and say enough is enough. And whatever you do, don't let him sweettalk you into taking him back. He is who he is - he won't change.

And put in a CMS claim, like today.