Just looked on DH phone - innocently and now I am all hollow

[AllHollow]

Dh is off work today ill, he said he texted work and then went back to bed. I checked his phone to see what he had sent and if he had a reply.

I found a load of texts too and (because of this went looking for) from a woman he works with. He used to mention her all the time, and I got a bit funny about it because he started doing stuff for her that he would never do for me such as specific trips to shops to look for stuff it was very unikley they would have (Wii at Christmas etc) I know if it had of been me I would have been told to check the net and thats that.

I know she is married with older children, and that is always his defense when I make a comment.

We got off to a rough start this year, both of us were down and I thought at one point he would come and say he was leaving me. He reassured me and we have both sorted ourseveles out and things have been brilliant since. But now I feel awful again.

The texts I have found could all be innocent and mainly date from Christmas time. They include him offering to change his leave so she can have the week off instead - Christmas week, of all things weeks! And one of the latest offering to bring her some sweet back from holiday, but acknowledging she is on a diet. Most of them are one sided conversations, but there are explanations to her being moody, having to 'fly as late' and bits about him being one of the nicest at work etc. They are written in such a pally way, a side I never see of him, and I am so shcoked.

I really trust him, but these messages have been saved to a folder so I am now wondering why. One does say 'Love you loads XX' but I would say the same to a mate.

I just feel all hollow now and wont be able to tell DH why because he will want to know why I have gone on his phone - even though it was innocent! I wish I had never looked at his bloody phone.

have changed name btw

Thanks everyone, esp Twinset. I do have a lovely hubby and he is a wonderful dad and a fantastic provider for his family. We have had some trying times, bereavements etc, and I know we are strong together. But I also have to learn he has his own personality at work where I am known to very few.

He works in a mainly male dominated role, but having thought about it I know if anything was going I would find out because some of his closer colleagues have links to me and the children in the community through wives and being nieghbours.

And I also felt like calling it a day after Christmas, but we both admitted we were finding things hard and took steps together to overcome them, which we did.

DH has been very poorly today I would not be proud of myself for picking an arguement. The more I think of it the more I think DH is probably flattered by this woman and I think working in a male environment, where I know there are some complete arses she would probably stick by DH who she acknowledges in one of her texts is one of the nicest there.

I still want answers to why he has saved her messages - esp the 'Love you Loads XXX' which says just that and nothing else, but have decided to wait sometime and 'accidentally discover' the messages and ask about them in a very innocent and non-accusatory (sp) manner.

I have just made DH a cup of coffee and he has asked me to go and sit with him, which is what I am about to do.

Thanks again

Not a problem i hope everything works out.

Just thought I would let you all know that I told DH I had looked at his phone and what I had found. I was utterly miserable about the whole thing, mainly because I felt so ashamed for looking.

He said he was disapointed I went looking on his phone, but when I explained why and asked him if he would have done the same he saw my pont.

We had a huge row, cleared the air, talked about why i have taken offence to this particular women, who by all accounts is one of the lads, smoke like a chimmney, swears like a trooper and is married with two teenagers - for all the difference that makes .

Dh told me he was'nt going anywhere, and what did I think of him if I thought if he would leave after all we have been through. He said he knows I am very insecure and emotional but that I have nothing to worry about.

Feeling so much better now, even if I did cry so much last night that my eyes were so swollen I could hardly see this morning.

X