OLD newbie - Elitesingles?

[Pinkfizzed]

Hello
I have posted here under other usernames before. Separated - divorce newrly through, 2 children, professional 45 year old working in London. Look fairly presentable and well groomed I think although size 12/14. Iooking to meet / date men of a similar age / lifestage as me, ideally local to London.

I registered on Elite Singles last week and so far very slim pickings. Lots of people have sent smiles / messages but nearly all seem to be quite old looking 50+. Is that the demographic that elitesingles has? I would ideally like to find someone closer to me in age (or at least younger looking).
Where else do people connect with professional men? I have drawn a blank at work, unfortunately. And don't get out that much because of childcare. Just looking for a potentially stable relationship- not for marriage, and not a one night stand. Fwb would also work.

Hopeful bump

Never used elite singles but as for the rest its the same people across different platforms. On Elite you may just find a better paid man who wants a casual shag behind the wifes back.

Elite singles is just old men I think.
I'd try in real life or limit your search to your age or younger in one of the mainstream sites like match or tinder. It's all the same men on all the sites anyway.

2 years of real life have drawn a blank. Most of the men I work with are either older and not divorced, or much younger and also in a relationship. Hence OLD now. I have only started off on Elite Singles. Looking for someone professional in their 40s who isn't looking for a partner to have kids with! Don't have a lot of time so trying via interest groups seems to be a very long shot

I emphasize @Pinkfizzed I'm in the same boat. I've given up.

Reporting back after 2 weeks on elitesingles. Very slim pickings. Most of the men who send me 'smiles' are about 10 or more years older. I did manage to meet someone closer to me in age for a coffee and wouldn't mind meeting him again but no firm interest from him for a second meeting. I also expressed interest in a few profiles i found interesting but only a couple replied and then ghosted me. Obviously a mismatch between my perception of myself vs reality! Not many seem to live in the London area which will make meeting difficult- but that is a problem for the future if I get to it.

Not sure what I am doing wrong - are there other curated sites where there are more people in their 40s? So far, I have been quite disheartened by my foray into OLD.

There's a dating thread on here OP, you might get more advice there. It's been a while since l did OLD but l think most seem to use Bumble or Tinder.

You could try match

I paid for a month on Match and it was an absolute waste of money. I ended up deleting my account after a fortnight. Just the same slim pickings as the other dating apps - and most of them are free

Unfortunately OP there’s a lack of eligible single men over 40 both on OLD and out in the wild. And many of the vaguely decent ones are charging women a decade or more younger.

@SamW98 I agree. It seems men usually 'fish' in fresher waters (as un-PC as that sounds). Some in their 40s may still want kids from another relationship, even if they have some already and hence clearly want someone biologically younger. The only people who seem interested in me are in their mid 50s on Elite Singles, even though i am not looking for anything permanent.
I joined Bumble today as a free member and I see younger men there but I can't be arsed setting myself up for failure messaging all these Greek Gods in their 30s showing off their biceps.

I'm 30s but was also looking for professionals and for something serious rather than 'fun'.

I'd try paid Match and Hinge.

POF only if you would like a laugh.

Just not enough usage of Elite from what I hear.

Tinder and bumble, I met some nice blokes but as a pattern, I found a lot of men didn't really know what they wanted and quite a bit of timewasting or immature behaviour. Not all badly intended but certainly a more throwaway culture.

Always go for a well written profile

I found Elite pretty good in terms of what I was looking for.

I found the relatively high subscription cost meant the guys were slightly higher quality than what you’d see on a free platform.

I was in my early 40s, have no children nor want any and it was important to me I met a guy that neither had children, nor wanted any.

I had quite a lot of older guys message, some younger and went on around 10-15 dates in a couple of months.

All were nice guys, some were dishonest about having children and didn’t go any further when I realised they did, some there was just no spark and for the last 2.5 years I’ve been seeing the last guy I met on there. He is 10 years older (what I was looking for) and although certainly is not without fault, and neither am I, but it’s been pretty successful in terms of a match/what we both want.

Id stay on elite for a little while longer - it is very London centric and is a bit restrictive in terms of them providing you with only 20 profiles a day, but I think it’s the best bet from the dating apps due to the commitment required financially which I think sorts those guys who are leading double lives etc.

The issue is more likely to be the same on all platforms. Men your age are chasing women in their 30s

Have you tried Badoo? One of my friends uses that one.