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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else ever had anything like this happen to them?

3 replies

wtgafe · 28/07/2024 09:54

Not coping too well and don't really have anyone to talk to because simply put.. I no longer trust anyone. I can't really talk openly about it all because it would be very outing so I will make a bit of it up and also be a bit vague.

Person in my family has mental health problems but refuses to go on medication, I will call them David for this thread..

Three years ago David started targeting me. By that I mean basically doing everything in his power to make my life hell, Its escalating, he's escalating and my life is in the gutter now.

He keeps making rumours up about me, tells everyone that will listen, keeps going to the police about me, keeps coming to my home shouting in the street etc

A small example of the things he is doing.. Posted a note through my neighbours door (caught on doorcam) saying I wanted to break in her house at night and touch her, then signed the note with my name.. he then went back with another note saying I'm into children and like to watch the local school and she needs to keep her grandkids away from me etc

Another example.. told everyone that would listen that I stole all the money out of my grandparents bank account when they were dying. I only found out about this one when I went to local shop and the guy behind the til said 'I didn't think you would show your face around here after what you did' and I asked what the hell he was talking about. David then came to my house shouting in the street that I was a twisted cunt that steals from elderly people, my neighbours were out at their car with their children at the time and now no longer speak to me either.

Called the police saying my internet search history was questionable, that I had six burner mobile phones and was dealing drugs. it goes on and on and on..

Latest is him posting my name, address, picture etc on Facebook with the message 'If anyone knows anything about this woman please message me, she's an evil abusive bitch and I'm gathering information for the police'

He then started showing up EVERYWHERE I was, a random shop, a cafe, even if I drove to the next town over he would still appear, I would pull up on my drive and he would walk out of a bush, wish I was making that bit up and sounds like a cartoon but he genuinely did.. he calls me 37 times a day, if I block his number he just withholds his number and leaves voicemails. he shows up at my house four times a day and the more I tell him not to the more he does it.

The police have been involved for the above and no I don't have more than one phone, no my internet search history is not questionable, no I didn't post the note through my neighbours door, all the money I 'stole' from grandparents was all shared between my mum and her brother like it was supposed to be.

Latest is me pulling up at the front of a shop in another town and him randomly appearing out of nowhere, getting in my car, demanding I take him somewhere then when I said no he spat in my face.

Even though I have proved I have not done anything at all wrong he fully believes I did these things.

I have lost all of my friends, my neighbours no longer speak to me, can't go in most of the shops in local area as they all think I stole the money, I get horrible looks if I'm out and about, people talking about me, also lost half of my family who decided to believe what he has been saying about me and even though I proved I didn't do any of it they still refuse to speak to me. People now do that thing where if I see them in the street they turn the other way pretending they didn't see me.

He was arrested the other day and I'm wondering what is likely to happen now, if they will treat it as criminal or go the mental health route?

OP posts:
Iquitelikemushrooms · 28/07/2024 10:21

That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.
I'm glad he's been arrested, he is harassing you, no matter the reason or cause, he's making your life hell.
When the police came to "investigate" his claims, did you tell them everything he's done to you?
Really important to have a record.
How does he know where you go, have you had your car checked for a tracker?
What do the rest of your family think?
I don't know what will happen next but whatever it is, it's not your fault.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 28/07/2024 10:34

Am glad to read he has been arrested also, presumably and yet again because of his harassment and ongoing stalking of you.

Has his facebook posting been taken down?.

Spirallingdownwards · 28/07/2024 10:38

Have you reported everything to the police? The spitting constitutes an assault so they should act. Also see a solicitor about a Protection from Harassment order too.

I would consider moving area especially if your friends haven't stood by you.

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