Can your partner throw you out?

[mueslimountain]

Does anyone know - if you are unmarried and been living together for 20+ years in a house owned by your partner - if things become acrimonious - and you have a 15 year old - can your partner throw you out??

No, it's just in another city that I wouldn't want to live in. What I don't understand is if he real me to leave what happens to our son? If he wanted to come with me and I can't afford anywhere short term what happens? And if he wanted to stay in his current home but I wanted him with me what would happen then?

100% yes he can.

Given the child is about to do his GCSEs and the child has lived with a drunk for a significant length of time this is a very unlikely thing to happen

I'd be very impressed if school were 1) that observant as he's a very high functioning alcoholic and 2) thought about doing anything about it.
i would say it's very very common

You have no legal rights to stay at all. If you son wants to stay but you want him with you, you still can’t stay. You find yourself housing and then go to court for custody. If he wants your son to leave, well then he is a nasty piece of work to make a child homeless, but if he does you and your son speak to the council homeless department.

is your partner likely to be that unreasonable? Surely if you are in the process of getting sorted, then your partner would be prepared to give you a reasonable chance to do so?

If you think they really would do this, then I suggest asking for help from a friend, a key, a place to go, even if just onto a settee for a week, etc

If you can’t afford somewhere short term you need to speak to the council (though they may not be helpful as you own a home) and declare yourself homeless. Or speak to a homeless charity for advice.

If your partner says you must leave, but is willing to have the teenager stay then are providing a place for them. If your teenager wants to leave with you, then they do but are potentially homeless. With you.

Your partner, is providing them with a place to live, even if the teenager doesn’t choose to not to take it.

If they want to stay, they stay. Even if you took it to court, at 15 their opinion will count for a lot. Unless you can prove huge safe guarding concerns. But going to court can take ages. Especially if there’s needs to be involvement from SS etc.

Thanks everyone who answered in the spirit of giving help and info 🙏

I'm sorry but you need to think in a practical manner. He can ask you to leave as your name isn't on the deeds and you aren't married. Being married means that he could not ask you to leave even if your name wasn't on the deeds. If you own a house then you either need to live in it, so repossess the property, or you sell it and use the equity to purchase another or you urgently seek a suitable privately rented property before you get asked to leave.
Sorry to be blunt about it, but you have more options than most. You just need to be practical. BTW as you own a property that is probably the advice that the local authority will give you.

do 'common law' rights not come in to play here? i agree that you need proper legal advise, but if you have been contributing to the household in other ways? paying bills, food, etc there may be something under 'common law' but i am not an expert..

No such thing as common law in England and Wales.

Get proper legal advice OP. I don't think Mumsnet is the best place.

Any disagreement as to where your son lives would have to be resolved in court.

Since he’s 15, the court is likely to let him decide providing both parents have suitable housing. If he wants to stay but you want him with you, the court is unlikely to go against what he wants unless you can prove both that your ex is an alcoholic and that this means your son shouldn’t live with him (the second does not automatically follow the first).

If he wants to go with you but you have nowhere to live, if your ex goes to court the court might decide he should stay with his father as the only parent able to properly house him.

Sorry, I know that’s not what you were hoping to hear. Options for unmarried partners are not good.

Since they don’t exist in England and Wales, no.

I wish this myth would be finally eradicated. So many women make decisions thinking that they have some rights as a live in partner when in actual fact they don’t. At all.

Is there anyone you could stay with if you need to in the short term?

If he asked you to leave, you have no right to stay.

As you own a home but just don't want to live there, the council are unlikely to house you.

If child wants to stay with dad, at 15 he can make that choice and you would need strong evidence of safeguarding concerns and a caught order to force him to leave with you. A court is not going to decide it's in his best interest to become homeless, if he has a home her wants to stay in, so you would need to provide a stable home before that was even possible.

Worst case sanario, social services might decide that neither a homeless mother or alcohol farther can provide a stable home.

If the child wants to come with you, you will either need to insist he stays with dad, or provide adequate housing. Either private rental, sell your property and buy somewhere local or go to your house in the city you don't want to live in.

Give notice to your current renters in your rental property.

Why does your son feel he has to look after an alcoholic parent?. That is the last thing he needs to do because he is not his responsibility, nor yours for that matter.

Look into an occupation order.

After cohabiting for a certain period (2 years?) you do have some rights irrespective of who's name is on what.

But as she owns a home elsewhere surely that would also be considered?

That’s completely untrue.

I'm not in the UK but surely a father can't just throw the mother out of the house that she lives in with her child?

From this page OP
https://www.denbighshire.gov.uk/en/housing-homelessness-and-landlords/homelessness/homelessness-prevention-guide/relationship-broken-down.aspx#:~:text=If%20your%20partner%20tries%20to,your%20partner%20to%20the%20police.

I live with my partner but don’t have occupancy rights granted
In this case your partner will be able to evict you without a court order if they give you reasonable notice (we would ask for between 14 and 28 days).

Once your partner has withdrawn their permission for you to share their home, you will no longer have a right to remain there and there is nothing to stop your partner changing the locks on the property when you are out so you cannot get back in.

If you refuse to leave, your partner can apply to the court for an order of ejection or can even ask the police for help in getting you out. However, the police are unlikely to want to get involved if your partner doesn't have a court order. If you do not want to leave, you will need to apply to the court immediately for occupancy rights to be granted.

If the couple aren't married and the home is owned solely by one of them, then, yes the non owner can be asked to leave. It's why getting married is more than a piece of paper. It confers legal rights and responsibilities on both parties. There is no such legal concept as common law marriage, although it's frequently thought to exist.

Also from here

https://www.drummondmiller.co.uk/news/family-law-occupancy-rights/

Where parties are not married, e.g. cohabitants, and only one party owns the property, the cohabitant without title has no automatic right to occupy the property. In these cases the court can grant the party without title a right to live in the property for a period of up to six months. The court can extend this period on request.

living as his guest and dependent on his goodwill

no need to ask me how I know this, is there ?!