Separating and how to survive

[awkwardanduncomfortable]

Hi all,

I'm not sure what I am expecting but I'd really appreciate some guidance from those that have experience.

I am very recently separated from my partner and dad to our two little girls (5 and 2)

Whilst I am feeling heartbroken, I also know that things haven't been great and this is probably for the best.

I think my question is where do I even begin??

Financially - I work and earn a decent wage but not enough to survive. I have applied for universal credit, our finances are still very much intertwined so I'm not sure if I will even be eligible for anything yet.

How on earth do we explain to our 5 year old? I just want to be sick thinking about it.

And how do I figure out what on earth to do with myself? He's got them this weekend and I've spent most of it in bed feeling sorry for myself.

Any words of advice much appreciated😭

Do you own a home together?...,Well do you have any possibility of a family
Member joining with you on a mortgage and you buying your partner out? Or releasing any family inheritance you might get in the future?...I actually spend at least a year financially planning my exit from my partner to allow me to do the above. If you are married seek advice from a solicitor to get a gauge on the financial settlement. Do you currently claim child benefit? You should be able to if you earn under 50k a year I think...your biggest out goings will be child care and mortgage/rent and bills....everything else you can budget and cost your costs. I'm here to tell you it's all possibly with some foresight!...

Hey
Yes we own our home together - I don't think I will earn enough to be able to afford the mortgage by myself with everything else.

I've just registered for child benefit as he earned too much. So that should be paid into a solo bank account. I know we need to figure out separating our joint accounts etc

We aren't married.

I'm hoping things will be amicable as we do both want the best for our DDs but right now it's easy to say that...

My daughter was 4yrs. I just said we loved her but didn't love each other anymore. There was also a great library book that talked through a girl who live at her mums house and then at her dad's house which helped explain the changes to her....we also have some friends who have also separated so she sees other kids doing the same. We're a year on now and the transition has been fairly smooth....so you can do it and if it's for the best feel reassured you're making the right decision. The biggest thing is to get your finances sorted