How to tell the kids you’re separating please- hand hold

[Endofaroad]

I’ve posted on another thread but husband told me Thursday he’s moving out on Wednesday. He wants to tell the kids Monday.
They are 7 (8 in 3 weeks) and 10.

i have googled but I am making myself ill thinking about it and keep bursting into tears every time I do.

please can you tell me your experience?

thanks

Mine were 15/12

he was only worried about getting sky sports in mums house and have if 2 houses and 1 Xbox.

she thought we were joking and started laughing. She was 12 and did find it tougher but we were quite united on how it will be 50/50 etc and that I would hopefully keep the family home which is all they knew.

if you make it an issue it is more likely too be one. Be relaxed over it. Good luck.

I was 10 and my bother 13 and we were sat down as a family and they told us through tears. We all cried for what felt like hours. The first time I ever truely felt my heart break. The 10 years that followed were hell.

My ex told our 4 year old and he did cry. But then I told him we were moving house and we would be closer to granny and grandpa (my mum and dad) and he could call/facetime/see his dad whenever he wanted to.

Its a shock but the main thing is to tell them stark facts that they can process (sugar coating is tempting but not helpful to their little black and white brains) and then to just reassure them and don’t blame anyone. Focus on the positives and make sure they know it’s not their fault and tell them all the things that won’t change (you being there every day, calling and talking to their dad, the house, school, friends, grandparents etc etc).

I really feel for you because it was utterly heartbreaking for me to watch my ex tell our son he was moving out (he had an affair and left for the other woman) but I’m now 4 months down the line from that conversation and can honestly say he’s been fine. The occasional question and a few tearful moments when I’ve explained “dad isn’t coming on the holiday” etc but they’re resilient and they’ll surprise you with their strength.

Remember this is hard for you too and give yourself some love and self care as well.

Thanks all so much. We are having the conversation tonight.