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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What does my guy friend feel for me?

8 replies

Yogimam · 27/07/2024 16:06

I have this shy guy friend. Nowadays we live far away due to studies. We’ve known each other since high school. I had a crush on him back then which I told him but he liked another girl (a mutual friend back then) who eventually hurt him. I moved on and got a boyfriend. I’ve caught feelings for him again.

Last weekend I was in his town and spent most of the time with him. First night we hung out at his place just talking. Then we had dinner out. At dinner he told me he had given up on finding a girlfriend and that he has never had romantic feelings for anyone. He also said he has trust issues and trusts nobody. He asked why it ended with my ex who he never seemed to like. When we talked about the time we got to know each other he said ”somehow you captured me.”

After this he brought me to meet his friends for drinks. Before saying goodbye he kinda tickled my waist and we shared a long hug.
We decided to meet the next evening as well and after hanging out at his place for hours I told him I have feelings for him. He got nervous and said "I dont know what to say" and then he said ”what is it you like about me?” I told him a few things and he replied he felt those things too, like enjoying my company, that Im easy to talk to and added that Im funny and good looking…”But I don’t feel more than that but I have been thinking about it. Although we’ve been friends for long I feel like you don’t fully know me.” I told him I felt a bit stupid since we’ve been in this situation before and he replied I shouldnt feel stupid and that he appriciated what I told him. ”I know you liked me in the past but then you got together with that boyfriend (my ex) and all…” (as I said before he has already rejected me then).
He also asked “what is it you would want between us?” Since I felt rejected I replied “I don’t know exactly”.

Later he walked me to the bus and I said he didn't have to wait with me. He replied ”I’m happy to.” He also said “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us?”
On my way to the hotel he texted me it was really nice seeing me. The next day he texted me to ask of my flight home went ok. It’s not really like him to text like that.

Now I found out from his best friend he has been talking to him about me and our talk. He also took a screenshot of a selfie I had posted.

What does he feel for me?

OP posts:
FuckingFreezing · 27/07/2024 16:08

I have no idea but it all sounds like hard work. At the end of the day if he ever does decide he's in love with you, he will let you know. Don't give it any further thought than that.

Wishimaywishimight · 27/07/2024 16:12

Sounds like a complete bullshitter. He's only short of saying "you complete me" 🙄 I reckon he's realised you like him and he's willing to shag you but is letting you know in advance that he's not interested enough for a relationship.

Catoo · 27/07/2024 16:14

You’ve told him you like him twice now. He hasn’t reciprocated.

Move on OP. This one’s a time waster. Trying to get you to tell him how much you always wanted him. Trying to make you say you left your bf because of him. And only got with bf because you couldn’t have him. And giving nothing in return. Grim.

You deserve one that knows he wants to be with you and would be over the moon if you liked him back. Don’t settle for one who is obviously settling for you. One day he will meet ‘the one’ and will up and go.

Minimal contact going forward.

💐

cupcaske123 · 27/07/2024 16:19

He's not interested. If he was interested he would have made that clear. Move on.

OldMutantDecrepitTurtle · 27/07/2024 16:28

He's probably enjoying the attention and ego-boost of being chased. If a guy - even a shy one - wants to be with you, he'll try very hard to make it happen. He won't say "I dont know what to say", demand you list why you like him and then hope that nothing changes. And honestly who wants that kind of passivity? Get with a man who knows he wants to be with you and will put in the effort to make it happen.

CorvusPurpureus · 27/07/2024 16:49

I'd say you've run it up the flagpole; he hasn't saluted it. Move on!

BananaLambo · 27/07/2024 16:52

He enjoys your company but he doesn’t fancy you. You are firmly in the Friend Zone. You have given him every chance to ask you out. He hasn’t done it.

RainintheDesert · 27/07/2024 17:53

He's your friend and nothing more. Shy or not, he would have said something by now.

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