Husband fantasizing about female family friend.

[CuSOMgO2]

My husband and I have been married ten years (both 52 and 2nd marriage for both of us and we both have adult children in their 20s). Some years ago we had a conversation about sexual fantasies, I naively assumed that his would be about people he didn't know or someone attractive in the media. He mentioned that he found his daughter's friend attractive, she was 18 at the time and we were in our 40s. I felt uneasy about this, despite him saying that it was just a fantasy and that he loved me very much. I tried to put it to the back of my mind, but it was always there niggling away.
I began to notice that he stared at younger attractive women, when we were together 8n public. It even happened at a friend's birthday party once, where he very obviously ogled a much younger woman's bottom as he walked behind her. I felt embarrassed and humiliated, not just for me, but also for her! His eyes would be out on stalks if we passed a young attractive woman in the supermarket. We had many rows about this and he said he would stop and he has done largely.

Fast forward and he asked me to show him how to do something on the viewing history of a social media app. There at the top of the searches he had made, was the name of his daughter's friend. She is a 'friend' of his on this site. I immediately confronted him of looking at images of her to sexually fantasize about, which he admitted to. I was gutted, upset, angry etc....He says he is mortified for upsetting me and promised that he won't do it again. He must have been doing this for several years. We've discussed it in counselling, but a level of trust has gone for me now.

I cant bare the thought that she might come to a family get together with his daughter one day. It has seriously knocked my self-confidence and I cant bare for him to see me naked as I now hugely under confident about my menopausal body (comparing myself to hers).

Am I being over the top?

I have the ick on your behalf OP 🤮

I'd be done for many reasons at this point but because he's been so open to the possibility of almost wanting you to know, my worry is the intent there was to make your confidence shatter. I find it all fucked up tbh. In so sorry x

Letchy old fart. He must make them feel sick ogling like that

If I were you, I’d be thinking less about my self-confidence being knocked, and more about how scuzzy it is for a man in his forties to reveal that he’s lusting after one of his 18 year old daughter’s friends. If he admits to fancying an 18yr old, God knows what he keeps to himself. And the only thing he feels he needs to reassure you about is that he still loves you…..🚩

Sorry this man is a perv. He's probably known daughters friend since she was child??????

Ask yourself how his daughter would react if she knew he was pleasuring himself over her friend and there is your answer I think.

He’s creepy as fuck

I’ve just noticed that this has been discussed in couples counseling.

Counseling cannot change low moral character or an innate lack of integrity and decency. H was happy to tell you that he was attracted to his teen daughter’s teenage friend. He would have been perving over her long before that, in addition to other teens and women you know. It’s still ongoing as he cruises through their SM, and he’ll be fantasizing about them when he’s with you. He really is a despicable specimen.

This. Why bother with counselling!? He has revealed himself to be one of 'those' men, disgusting perverted sleazeball and isn't ashamed to admit it. Counselling won't change that, he will just hide it better.. but you will know the truth. And always feel insecure. I actually can't believe you stayed with him.
It's not about whether she would like him back, just the fact he looks at her in that way.. imagining having sex with a young girl 🤢

...nonce!
Yep, guaranteed this started when she was younger.

Gross

This is gross

Eewwww I would have left at the first discussion

OP, your husband is a dirty, disgusting old lech, my God he admits to wanking about a friend's child, the age of his own daughter, and that he has done since she was a school age teenager.. and you're worrying about your own attractiveness, and your own body?

He's rancid. I wouldn't want a thing like that breathing the same air as me, much less touching me! I guarantee that you're a goddess compared to that sack of clammy-handed, salivating Jabba the Hutt foulness. He's not some teenager, young, dumb and full of come. He's just a dirty old man with an entitlement mentality, and given he's not even trying to hide it, he's also got absolute contempt for you.

Worrying about whether he's attracted to you, my God. Why, in fact how, can you bear him? There are so, so many better options in this world. And it says all we need to know about your relationship that you've taken this on yourself, instead of being repulsed and disgusted by him.

Your menopausal body is the last thing you should worry about. Your DH is a creep and makes women uncomfortable- this what you should worry about.

How on earth can you stand being in the same room as this vile creepy sleazy disgusting pervy old dirtbag? Your husband is a repulsive old man who wanks over a girl young enough to be his daughter - 🤮 grim as fuck

Good to see we're all on the same page. Please listen OP. You don't need to live like this.

He's revolting and abusive. I'm sorry.

A predator that likes girls just at the legal age so he doesn't get into trouble with the police, one step above a pedophile comes to mind.

He's disgusting.

I have two daughters and never drooled over any of their friends. Many of them were very pretty but I would never have ever thought about them sexually. Never had a sexual fantasy about any girls my daughter's ages.

And as the years have passed I see girls/women their ages, and think how I'd feel if I knew some dirty old git was seeing them as sex objects.

@CuSOMgO2 your husband is sick.

What are you thinking about it all, @CuSOMgO2?