How on earth do I get past this?

[LuceyLoo12]

Partner 38 M has a wide circle of close friends - which consists of mostly women.
When we initially got together I asked whether there was anything that I needed to be aware of, namely if he had ever crossed that boundary. He was adamant that this was not the case. I have asked many many times since we have been together because something did not sit right with me. Each time my partner has lied to my face and gaslit me about the situation. He has been spending time with with a particular woman within the group one on one - going on date like excursions, which I was never 100% comfortable in the first place.
After asking him for what must be the 100th time he has finally come clean that they have slept together. I feel betrayed as I feel that everyone knew except for me, I have shared personal things about my life and my relationship with this woman.
It's made worse by the information that she wanted to take things further after they slept together but he declined.

At the time they slept together he had not long left his ex fiance of 7 years - she apparently stated that she was inspired by this and also left her partner of 7 years. I still feel that she has feeling for him.

He said it happened once and felt it was a terrible mistake and did not even enjoy the sex. I accepted this and moved on but it has now come out that he slept with this woman for a period of time and another close friend soon after that.

There have been times when it has been just the 4 of us hanging out - and I have been in the dark that he has slept with every woman in the room. In fact the entire social circle knew but me and I feel humiliated.

He even lived with one of these women whilst we were together. I thought it was okay as they were just friends.

I am almost 9 months pregnant and do not feel that I can trust my partner as I didn't think he was capable of lying to me and gaslighting me about why I felt an uncomfortable energy from these women for over 1.5 years.

I discovered that he even lied to me about getting a sexual health test but slept with with both of his friends unprotected.

I am questioning my entire relationship with this man. Any advice?...

Red flags for me. There was no reason for him to keep from you that he’d had sexual encounters with these women other than him wanting to keep them around as back ups should things not work out with you. He knows they’re on the hook and enjoys the attention and potential to have them whenever he wants. Personally, I could t be with someone who lied to me for so long and made me feel like I was in the wrong for asking and feeling uncomfortable. I realise that it’s very difficult for you because you’re very, heavily pregnant but it might be a good idea to take some space and get ready to do some therapy when the baby arrives and you’re settled into a routine. Focus on the baby atm. That’s the most important thing. Enjoy this last stretch of your pregnancy and don’t let his past escapades ruin it for you. Get your family and friends around you for support.

I genuinely despair sometimes. What on earth were you thinking? Jeez

Leave him now, he is a liar and will continue to lie. And give baby your name, do not allow him to control you and give baby his name.

So on a practical front how are you set up ? Are you married ? On mat leave from a full time job ? If you were to leave do you have parents or other support systems available ?

MN is very fond of saying LTB but if you have no funds and no support other solutions need to be offered .

I don't think this man will make you a good partner. He is a liar with an ego that needs the constant fuel of interest from multiple women. This doesnt tend to change, regardless of how good a relationship they find. They always need more attention, more women, more ego boosts. You would be wise to start planning for a future with him as a Co parent but not your partner.