Better to have loved and lost...

[AcresOfGreen]

Than never to have loved at all?
What do you think? I personally do not agree. I get the whole sentiment behind it but it's definitely not true for me.
I have been in love with a guy for 9 years. We were very intense and close for a few years. Talked about marriage and everything.
The trouble is. He is from the states and has gone back there for good. It's been three years since I've spoken to him. He's probably married by now.
I have dated other guys and my love for him does not stop me from being with anyone else.
However, I'm still so in love with him that my heart aches. I cannot stop thinking about what could have been. We didn't end on bad terms. Just literal distance and life paths.
I truly believe I would have been better off never knowing him. Then I wouldn't miss him.
Just curious if others have felt similar?

Why aren’t you still in touch? Couldn’t you have moved with him? If you’d talked about marriage you could’ve got married and moved with him.

It just wasn't the right time. He travels a lot.

Couldn’t you have had a long distance relationship? Lots of wives have husbands who travel a lot too. I’m not understanding why you had to split up when you were so into each other that marriage was discussed. Is there more to this? There’s often never a right time for big choices in life like having kids or moving abroad. You just have to take the plunge. Why don’t you contact him and see where he’s at? You don’t know if he’s married. If he is then you will know and can back off but if he’s not then you can open the lines of communication and see where it goes. Why not try? You only get one crack at the whip.

Mine died several years ago
he screwed my head for decades
my husband did not come to his funeral

some men are to lust over
others are to be with
choose the latter

Sort of agree with you OP.

Have been 'in love' before but until last relationship I realise that wasn't pure love. Got over a 20yr + relationship in little time, but 1 year relationship is just too painful to get over. Part of me wished we hadn't met as I wouldn't know what I had lost

@TipsyJoker in the time we were together he had gone back and forth and we tried the long distance thing. I don't think it's going to happen now. He could've called me in this time too.
The thread is not so much about why we didn't work out but whether it's better to have loved and lost..

That is not my reading of the phrase…. I don’t think it’s meant to be applied to one particular relationship…. It’s about the experience of being alive…. And having had the experience of love in your lifetime…and how wonderful that experience is…even if you lose it.

i do know what you mean though …. But after time I can look back at old loves and just relish in the joy they were while they were good…. Such a wonderful feeling….

I agree with this.

@Wish44 I do see that. I do still kind of wish for the blissful ignorance of the teenage years where I just happily went along without knowing how painful losing love would be. But I know it's a part of life.