My mum (mid 60s) is getting really exhausting for me to deal with. I find myself having to repeat every single thing (multiple times).
It's usually about things to do with childcare. She lives near me and helps look after my child. Arrangements will be made days (sometimes weeks) in advance, then when it comes to the day she will act as though it's suddenly being "sprung on her" out of blue, without notice or without being arranged. I've taken to keeping a diary of arrangements agreed with her and refer to this each time she feigns ignorance of them.
There is no cognitive decline, she appears to have all her faculties with her when with others, leads a social life and always remembers everything to do with other people like friends, arrangements and so on. She will talk in great details about the ins and outs of her friends' live and news but almost has a couldn't care less attitude when it's anything to do with my own life or news. It's just when it comes to anything I say or want to discuss, she gives off an air of finding it "all too much". My siblings have experienced similar from her.
I recently went through an upsetting time when a foreign ex got back in touch out of the blue. Long story but we were each other's first love many years ago and it really knocked me for six when he reached out after many years. She saw the situation play out at the time and all the issues we faced as a couple... When I mentioned that he'd been back in touch and I wanted to ask for advice of how to word an email reply to him (it was delicate and I needed to get it right), she immediately tried to shut down the conversation, didn't want to hear anything about it and made a stupidly ignorant comment: "They only want British girls for visas to UK..". Seriously, who are "they?". Any foreign man? Any man from his particular country? Any man of his particular profession? She refused to elaborate or explain her view. It's worth pointing out he was from a country much richer and more affluent than UK. Also with very high paid professional career. But she was ridiculously narrow minded in her comment about him being just after a visa when no such thing was EVER the case! Agghhh.. So frustrating. It's like banging my head against a brick wall.