Going NC with close family member

[cantthinkofaname1991]

After many years of awful behaviours and some really cutting messages and conversations since I had my little boy I am seriously thinking about going NC with close family member. I don’t want to divide my family but I can’t take the messages anymore and the arguments (always on special occasions) and constant digs and undermining of me. Should I stick it out and try to block out the nastiness? I have been trying for years but it’s taking its toll. I know it will upset the family to have a big divide as usually I just try to brush it up under the carpet. Anyone had similar and what did you do?

Have you ever been assertive with them? Called them out on it? I find a 'What does that mean?' works.

I have tried but it ends up in an argument (which I feel is what they are always after as their messages are always very provocative). They never apologise and expect to be pandered to.

I’ve recently been trying greyrocking but the impact of the communications is really upsetting me and I can’t block it out even if I can on a superficial level if that makes sense. I feel really stuck.

First I wouldn't read their messages and I would mute them on social media and WhatsApp. I would divert their number to voicemail.

Second I would be polite when I saw them but no chit chat, just say hello and speak to other people. Avoid where possible.

If they're rude to you, pause and say 'What do you mean by that?' and look at them quizzically. If they carry on being rude just walk out of the room and leave them to it.