Difficult father has cancer diagnosis

[britespark1]

I have a tricky relationship with my “D”F. Lots of infidelity growing up, borderline neglect, very selfish, and now very obviously favours my brothers and their lovely children and makes no effort with me and mine. Has now been diagnosed with cancer and I don’t know how I am supposed to “be”.

He blatantly expects everyone to rally round him but I just feel nothing. He continues to be rude to me and live his life in the same selfish way but I’d happily still not see him. How do you deal with illness in someone you are supposed to care for but actually don’t ?

small update - found out today he needs surgery and has been told he’ll be off work for 2-3 months to recover. The hints about needing help at home have already started 🙈

Smile and nod OP. You don’t have to do his tasks, let others (he can get food deliveries etc)

He’s definitely tech savvy enough,
orders loads of things online. God it’s going to be tough

I'd just get a few stock answers ready.

"Sharon's Mum used Wiltshire Farm Foods and says they're good, why don't you have a look at their website"

"Have you sorted out a cleaner yet?"

Or just change the subject.

Once he's in a Ward, if you know where he is, make sure the Discharge Clerk knows that he's not being discharged into your care.

Good advice, thank you!