Keeping my name?

[PixieBoom]

I got married in June and originally I was going to keep my surname. I have a very unique surname and it felt too weird to change it, and I'm very close to my dad so it almost felt like a betrayal.

Very last minute I changed my mind because I want me and my DS to have the same surname. However I am now having second thoughts again! I've not yet made any changes to anything other than Facebook.

Can't double barrel it because both our surnames are quite unique and it would just be ridiculous 🙈

If I'm totally honest I don't get how it all works, I thought once you were married that was it, you me bae was changed unless you stated otherwise (I'm aware I sound really stupid)

Has anyone else felt the same? What did you do?

Same
My mum also kept her name. Never once has it caused any issues, either practical or emotional.

Ditto. I find it really odd.

I kept my name. I've never regretted it. I'm occasionally referred to as Mrs HisName. If it's a genuine mistake I ignore. If it's a relative making a point because they disapprove of any break with tradition (yep, that was you Nan) then they get a giant eye roll.

My daughter has both parents' names, double-barrelled.

It never occurred to me to change my name. DH would have thought I’d been replaced by a replicant if I had. DS has both surnames. About half his school class have both parents’ surnames. It’s a very international school when lots of parents married to people of different nationalities. Everyone’s keen on the child having a name from both countries/cultures.

I kept name. Kids have dads. Never an issue

We both double barrelled…am an only child with a unique surname, was not going to give up my Dad’s name so double barrelling seemed like a good compromise. Been married 10 years and happy with decision.

Never changed my name. Gave them his surname as ‘tradition’ and he was the last person in his whole family with the surname so it would have died out otherwise, and mine as middle name. I’m not much of a fan of his surname and wish I’d given them mine.

I’ve been married 15 years and kept my name. Initially down to sheer laziness but now more about the “why would I?”. Kids have dh name and it doesn’t bother them nor has it ever caused any problems with flying or medical stuff etc. I was all prepared the first time I flew alone with them but tbh they were 1 and 3 - had absolutely no hassle, presumably no one in their right mind would travel alone with two that age without being related to them!!!

Actually- the only mild hassle/annoyance is that my own family (parents/sibling/aunts etc) steadfastly address any post to me as Mrs DH name!!! Drives me insane!!

Didn’t change name - why would I? loads of paperwork and inconvenience for what?
dc has both surnames no hyphen

Why ever would you change it? Did your DH contemplate changing his?

If it's important to you to have your child have the same surname as you, give the child your surname.

Nothing ridiculous about double barrel surnames made up of unique names. If they sound silly together because they convey a meaning, they probably sound a bit silly with the one meaning, e.g. I think Coffin isn't really better than Pyne-Coffin. Just being unique isn't silly.

Thank you all so much for your replies, you've helped reassure me that it really doesn't matter and I can do what I want! So keeping mine it shall be 😊

I have 3 kids, first I had when I was a teenager and his father wasn’t in his life at all and my son had the same surname as me. The younger two children have their dads surname, very different to mine as it’s an Asian surname. It’s never been an issue and I’ve never thought I wish they had the same surname as me, as it’s never caused any problems. I understand why some people want the same surname and that’s fine, but I don’t see it as a big deal to be honest.

DC and DH are actually taking mine

Kept my name and my children have my name.

(It does make us laugh when DH is referred to as Mr Jolly (he kept his) and his parents insist I'm Mrs Husbandname)

I wish I’d kept my name and double barrelled the kids.

I changed my name though all of us (DC, me and DH) have my name as middle name. I was young and my unique surname felt more of a chore than a blessing, and I liked DH's name.

If I were making that decision now, I wouldn't change though. I still like DH's name, but I regret giving up that bit of me.

Kept mine for a few
Years, it's not even that great, one that everyone can't spell or pronounce correctly ever but I was attached to it. Hubby wasn't bothered. Then we started adoption and the social
Workers were weird about it. So changed to keep them happy. Literally. Now I am used to it and don't mind but yea took me a
While.

On side note, my BIL ex
Wife who gave my sister sooo much (uncalled for) shit, actual physical fights, courts etc cos BIL left her (2 years before my sister was with him in case anyone thinks) anyways think of the most
Bitter twisted woman and she has deliberately kept her married name even tho been divorced for 16 years, hates his family etc in her own words only to remind my sister she will
Never be number 1 wife. Sad.

One of my friends had this dilemma as her surname was also very unusual and she was the 'last of her line' as her dad used to say.
Her fiance's name was very common, and he decided to change his surname to hers when they married, instead of the other way round.
So that is another option.

I kept my name. Didn’t see the need or want to change it.

I kept my name. It's my name and that's that. We do get minor hassle, like getting addressed wrongly sometimes, but I don't regret it.

We did double-barrel the kids though. I know a lot of people give the kids the man's surname, but I certainly wouldn't have been happy with that.

I'm in Scotland, so if you're in England I have no idea if it is different, but here there is certainly no automatic changing of name to your husband's.

I didn't change my name. I never would. I am who I am.

We double barrelled our children. It's up to them to decide what they do in their future.

It's also massive hassle to change it officially. What does your wedding certificate say?

My child doesn’t have my name - his dad’s surname sounds great with his first name but we did discuss it cos other names sounded better with my name. He definitely still feels like my child! I’ve actually never thought ‘oh I wish we had the same surname’. We’re totally a unit despite that.