Hi Everyone really hoping you can help!
We lost my MIL in Jan last year, she asked my husband to take care of his Dad no matter what. My husband has never been close to his Dad, his Dad is a very difficult and demanding character, ex RAF, selfish, arrogant, stuck in his ways, materialistic and frankly rude. We’re talking a man that makes a spreadsheet at the beginning of the week with all his meals and used to click at his wife if she forgot to put serviettes on the dinner table.
So as you would we took his Dad under our wing, he came over every month or we went there. My husband went and stayed with him when his back went, we cooked and sent food over for him, we took him on 4 holidays and it meant we couldn’t enjoy our holidays because everything had to be what his Dad wanted (every day to go to the pub) we could only have sandwiches and pork pie for lunch, never go out for more than an hour at a time as he got bored. He never once during those holidays asked us if we wanted to go out as a couple and offered to look after the kids for us. We lost the only person we have to look after our boys when his mum died and we haven’t had a date night since!
anyway on one of the weekends we went to stay at his Dads I bathed my son and I went downstairs to watch TV. I left the bathroom light on for 2 hours and he went ballistic - said I was wasteful and we were wasteful as a family and whenever he comes to our house it’s like blackpool illuminations! he had been drinking but he was vile!
I apologised and I offered to pay for the extra electricity but he wouldn’t leave it. I walked out and told him he was a pathetic sad man to worry about such a trivial thing and I went to bed. He then started on my husband and the kids were at the top of the stairs crying - they had a full blown row and my husband packed us all up in the morning and we went home early. I said goodbye to my FIL but he ignored me, he was dressed in his going out clothes (he has house clothes for if he’s staying in) and it turned out he’d already invited his girlfriend over to eat the Sunday dinner we were meant to be cooking for him!
So yes, the girlfriend - 1 of my MILs friends!!
We’ve seen him since the argument but I kept out of his way, and I didn’t want him to come to my house especially after everything his dad had said. I vowed never to go to his house again but we are going away next month and he asked to see us before we go so my husband has arranged for us to go and stay for a night tomorrow. He went over alone to take him out for Father’s Day and met his girlfriend which he says he is fine with but I can tell he’s struggling.
His dads moved on so quickly and keeps trying to shove her in our faces, fitting her into his wife’s shoes, taking her to all the places they used to go it’s weird. Anyway, I don’t want to go to his house let alone sleep over! He’s invited his girlfriend and I’m really not interested in playing happy families. I feel so angry after everything we’ve done for him at the way I’ve been treated. I literally HATE him. Do I put my foot down and say I’m not going and risk falling out with my husband or do I go and suck it up and just be civil? The problem is I’m so angry I don’t know if I can? I’m not gonna make it easy for him, he certainly hasn’t for me and I resent him so much.
what do I do?