Boyfriend away with his friends

[Pussycat02]

Hi just wanted some advice , my boyfriend and I have been together 18 months we really love each other and I feel happy and secure , he asked me if I would mind if he went on a boys trip to Spain , I said of course and normally this wouldn’t bother me , but he accidently slipped a few months ago and told me that in his last relationship when coming to a end he went on a boys trip , to same place where he told me he’s going and got friendly with a woman and had casual sex with her , this was 4 years ago but he’s going to his friends flat to stay so all in same area , I don’t no whether to say something , just feel a bit worried

Your best would be to have a calm honest conversation about it. In a good relationship there's nothing wrong with admitting to feeling a little insecure about something and allowing that person the opportunity to reassure you. If they don't of course that says a lot about them and the relationship.

However, if he's already away now, I kind of think you missed the opportunity to do it in a good way.

How did he " accidently" let this information slip out? Did he tell you this before or after he'd arranged this trip away?
How did you react when he told you and did he try and reassure you before he left?

Hi he told me this over a year ago we were discussing his ex and he said she made him so miserable he spent a night with a local woman who happened to be English , he has just booked trip not going till mid August ,

Do not talk to him about it. You either trust him or you don't. Please don't listen to people telling you to have a discussion about it - you will damage your relationship if you have to have a conversation questioning his trustworthiness.

Well I think I would be a bit concerned that he put the blame on her for him cheating. Really if he was so unhappy in his relationship with his ex he should have ended things with her before he hooked up with someone on holiday. So in that respect he doesn't come out of it very well.
If he is not going on holiday until August I really think you should talk to him about your concerns. If he really loves and cares about you he should be happy to reassure you.

And that's the cure for everything according to most men. To stick their dick in a random woman. Of course it's always their wife or girlfriend's fault. She made him miserable enough to fuck a total stranger, naturally. He sounds delightful.

As PP says, you either trust him or not. You saying to him, you arent going to cheat are you, isnt going to change anything.

Do you think he is happy in your relationship?

If I trusted my partner I wouldn't have an issue with him going to Spain with friends. Regardless of who he had slept with 4 years ago.

However, I would have an issue with my current DP cheating on an ex blaming it on her for making him so miserable he was forced to cheat 🙄