Need sound advice on husband

[MarieFlower]

I am 20 weeks pregnant with our 1st baby together. And he's turned abusive.

I have children already who are older teens.
He has his own house. I have mine. But always together & it's worked. We were in the stages of which house to sell, live in, keep, let out etc before I fell pregnant.

Anyway... that is not the issue....during pregnancy he's been a nightmare.
Name calling, neglectful, selfish. Everytime I leave him I get an expensive gift & love bombing etc.

As of late..he's been really trying. Offering everything I could imagine. But all the things he called me were so bad & what he's put me through I feel like I just can't move on from it. When he's nice I feel it can't be real?

It's now all my fault for not "letting him" be there for me cus I can't move on from the past he says.
Even when he does something nice I think... you was calling me ugly last week.

Has anyone been through this?
Some how it's always my fault. X

It isn't your fault at all and he's a pig.

Keep away from him. A lot of aggressive men ramp up their abuse when their wives are pregnant.

This isn't going to get better. Don't get back with him.

Block him.

Everytime I leave him I get an expensive gift & love bombing etc.

So he buys you back? You know what to do so what part are you actually struggling with?

Tell him it's over and block him on everything. Download and use the court approved parenting app for any communications regarding the joint baby when it arrives if he wants to be involved. Claim cms. If he comes to the door say its over, you don't want to speak to him and if he tries to keep knocking on your door etc you will contact the police regarding harassment. And actually do it.

He can't love bomb you if you've blocked all communication.

EDIT - Read it as 20wk baby not pregnancy.

Do you feel able to block him OP?

You are in the fortunate position to be able to leave and live in your own houses. this will not go away ..please look at how to split safely

I am so sorry this has happened to you @MarieFlower. Did he show signs beforehand? Often, it's the pregnancy that triggers that abusive behaviour. What a terrible trend.

Please leave. You only have to read a few threads on here to know it only gets worse.

Keep writing here - we will support you.

It's very common for abuse to start in pregnancy. It's scary really because it shows how deliberate it is and how they were masking before. Look up the cycle of abuse.

Luckily you have your own place. Block him on your phone and social media. Don't let him in your property.

Abuse only ever gets worse. The abusive him is the real him.

@MarieFlower It is very common for abuse to start during pregnancy or get worse. The abuser using feels “safe” as he has you in a vulnerable position physically and mentally.

Best course of action is to leave now. My ExH became increasingly abusive and controlling during my second pregnancy so much so his actions caused my waters to break without actually going into labour.

Keep yourself safe and contact women’s aid / speak to your midwife and do not hesitate to call the police if you feel under threat.

How are you doing @MarieFlower?

Get rid. Will only get worse when babys here

Yes it is always your fault with abusive men. Yes I had abusive behaviour starting in pregnancy. It got worse with the baby. Please leave him. Yes the abusive him is the real him, the love bombing one is masking his nastiness

This.

I hope you and your baby are well OP x