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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying to coparent with an emotionally abusive ex

1 reply

Rose990 · 23/07/2024 20:02

Ex was emotionally abusive along with infidelity and on two occasions, throwing and breaking items in the house when simply asked a question. We are now divorced and I am moving on to try and recover. Unfortunately our five year old son is now having to contend with my ex’s demands and pressures.
We have a schedule - ex doesn’t do any childcare as his work doesn’t accommodate - his words - so I also work full time yet organise school pick ups etc. Ex sees son three times a week. As it’s the school holidays, ex hasn’t started to just request that he has him on extra days which I have accommodated but tonight he brought my son home to ask me if he could stay overnight with his dad. Sent son to the door. I was caught off guard as we had already arranged an overnight tomorrow night. I said yes, fine and reassured son that that was okay. He went and I’m left sitting with plans I now can’t do tomorrow and just feeling a bit miffed.
It’s not really the change of overnight, it’s the asking son to ask and the constant asking for more and changing - he would not accept this if I acted I’m a simple manner. My son also looked exhausted and I felt he should have just come in to supper and bed.
It is very hard!

OP posts:
Lilahulk · 23/07/2024 20:44

Co-parenting is certainly not easy. I find that being flexible and generous where possible, but still firmly saying no when it doesn’t suit is the only way to navigate what was once
a toxic situation. How do you usually communicate with your ex?

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