When do tears stop

[Ann1964]

My partner of over 5 years has slept with someone else.

I don't want to talk about it as he has completely accepted responsibility but I have kicked him out as the betrayal has devastated me.

13 days on and I'm breaking down in tears often.
Is this normal or should I be pulling myself together by now?

Of course it's ok to still be heart broken. You are allowed to take as much time as you need.

Have you told friends/family? Please make sure you have plenty of support and not dealing with it alone. The more people you confide in the stronger you will be and the less likely to be weak enough to consider taking back a cheater.

Of course you’re still grieving, 5 years is a long time and this is a huge betrayal.

As much as anything else, you’re grieving the loss of trust, the loss of your future together that you envisaged and the relationship itself.

Tell someone you trust what’s going on and keep as busy as you can and, eventually, it will feel better. I’m now almost 6 months post finding out my fiancé cheated (he left for the other woman) and I honestly feel happier than before. If you had told me this 6 months ago I would never have believed it, just let time do its thing and come out stronger on the other side!

I have told close family and friends but almost wish I hadn't in a way as they are angry and hate him whilst I'm in a confused state of hurt, betrayal, anger and love..

You poor thing, the news probably hasn’t even sunk in yet, not surprised you are still crying, very early days. Don’t be so hard on yourself

It's still so raw for you. I'm sorry you've been hurt in this way and it will take time to recover from.

Be kind to yourself and don't put any pressure on to "get over it". It'll take as long as it takes.

Rough rule is twice as long plus half in weeks, so 12 to 13 weeks to get over a 5 years relationship. Don't pressure yourself to be pulling yourself together after a couple of weeks.

If you are still breaking down in tears and still feeling like this in 3 months time, contact relate and get some counselling. Hopefully you will have healed considerably by then.

Seems like forever away doesn't it? You will get through it, as horrible as it is. You know you deserve better than this and time will help you feel that too.

There is no time scale on betrayal unfortunately. 💐

Different circumstance but I’ve slept with someone else and my partner has just recently found out, to be honest I expect him to be mad about this for quite some time. I average around 8-18 months being normal of ups and downs. It’s going to be a shit ride but I think we will get through it providing I toe the line, which is understandable considering what I done.

Pandasandtigers

I appreciate your honesty.
May I ask why you did it ?