I still want to avoid him - am I being silly?

[LondonDancer]

I broke up with my ex 3.5 years ago after more than 5.5 years together. He hurt me a lot at the end but I'm well over him now, can see I'd a lucky escape. We don't live too far from each other, but thankfully have only bumped into each other once.

We enjoyed going to certain places together which I still actively avoid, but I go to similar places elsewhere - a different cinema, different gym - I don't really know why I do this, but I feel more relaxed knowing I'm unlikely to see him. I especially didn't want to use the same gym.

Am I being silly? It's not that I'm missing out, just doing things elsewhere. It took me a long time to get over breakup and was low afterwards, but am doing great now.

Unless you really loved the old gym but don't much like the new one, ditto cinema, etc, such that you are having a worse time just to avoid him, then I don't see the problem. If you are still avoiding places you'd really like to go for fear he might be there, that would be an issue....

Well done, OP. You’ve moved on, got over the pain and are now enjoying life again. As your wish to avoid him isn’t causing you serious inconvenience, I would just keep on as you are. It’s working for you.

I understand if I don't wanna see somebody I'll literally jump on the wrong bus lol

I still avoid places I might see my ex from 20 years ago. They're not places I'd ever need to or want to go though .
Nothing wrong with a bit of damage limitation

I moved counties to avoid mine. So I think it's quite normal to change up where you go to avoid him. Over 10 years on I'd still leave whatever shop I was in and abandon my shopping if he was there. Fuck them life's to short to be seeing people you don't want to ever see again.

Thanks - makes me feel less silly! I can't explain why I'd want to avoid him but I'm happy where I am anyway. He wanted to be 'friends' after dumping me and turning nasty but I wanted nothing to do with him, and still wouldn't.

I’m doing similar. Is slightly inconvenient as we have have shared hobbies and friends and live a mile apart (urban area). We do bump
into each other but I just smile say help and go on my way. I have started new hobbies and do have places where I know I definitely won’t see him (club premises) see him which helps.

We also have shared acquaintances more than friends but I took a step back and just meet a few who I'm friendlier with apart from the group