Never thought it would be me

[DodgyFriend]

Hi,
Been married 23 years, married too young.
My DH seems to have had some kind of personality transplant in the last couple of months. Started with workmates, not getting along with them, became a bit obsessed with revenge on them and teaching them a lesson. Started vaping CBD to relax, didn't seem to be relaxing him to me.
Always had a bit of a temper, but it was manageable. He just became so angry and aggressive and a bit hyper at times. I thought it would pass, but the shouting has gone too far. At least once a day he loses his shit with me. We have 2 DCs 6 and 9, and they have repeated back to me some of the stuff he has shouted, like ' I fucking hate you' .
The last few days I have just kind of come to the conclusion that this is not going to change and I can't take it and its so unfair on the children.
When he snapped at me this afternoon, I just told him I've had enough, he lost his shit, said he'd be leaving he's had enough, should have done it years ago etc. I just said fine go.The children heard it all.
I'm so ashamed that this is what I've become and what this has decended in to. The Dc seem to be of the mind that he is a bit scary.
Am I ruining their lives if we separate. Is this enevitably going to have a detrimental effect on them?
I can't believe that I am writing this tbh.

I wish my mum had left my dad long before she actually did, she tried a few times but he always convinced her he'd change. He never did for long. He refused any kind of medical help for what I believe to be a mental or personality disorder. You and your children deserve so much better, an angry volatile man who doesn't want to change, won't change. You shouldn't have to live in fear of his outbursts. My dads abuse was mostly mental, but it did escalate towards the end. Do you have family to support you, somewhere safe to go if you and the kids need to get away?

Hi OP

If this is really completely out of the blue I would be encouraging your partner to go to the dr’s for some investigations- be it neurological or MH related. I obviously don’t know anything about him but it’s not possible that he’s been using steroids is it?

otherwise, yes it sounds like time for some space and marital support if you can manage it (and want to stay together)

I also think he needs to see a doctor if he's had a sudden personality change. Especially as you mention not just increased aggression/shouting but also being "hyper".

If he's just started medication, check that for side effects also as some meds can cause this.