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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone had a relationship breakdown due to mental health issues

9 replies

Delightfullydark · 22/07/2024 19:41

As the title reads really.

DP (no kids or cohabiting involved) has ended things due to their poor mental health which is very bad at the moment. They are engaging with a doctor and counsellor. DP feels they need to get better alone and it’s too much pressure knowing they are not being fully present in the relationship as they should.

I would've rather stayed together and just allowed as much space as necessary but they have to do what’s best for them. Having been there myself, very ill with bad MH, I know that feeling of acting irrationally (albeit feels rational at the time) and this feels very sudden and irrational (to me). Perhaps it’s not though.

My hurt and feelings aside, them getting better is the priority. How likely is it things can be rekindled with space and time? Is it even a good idea to think like that? Well meaning friend has suggested (sensitively) whether I should even want to rekindle. Has anyone been through similar. Heartbroken. TIA x

OP posts:
courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 19:45

how long with him?

Delightfullydark · 22/07/2024 19:45

Couple of months

OP posts:
5475878237NC · 22/07/2024 19:48

After a couple of months this is a very rational decision on their part. You have no shared history or commitment to each other so it's just not a good investment of their mental energy at all. They need to focus solely on recovery. Sorry.

Delightfullydark · 22/07/2024 19:49

Thank you 54

OP posts:
WindowFrogs · 22/07/2024 19:49

I know it's hard to go through heartbreak but try to accept this as one of those things in life you can't control or change. If you love them set them free etc. No one knows how this will end up but time alone to focus on yourself for a while and time to move forward will give you space to to think too. Perhaps given some time you might see a different future for yourself. This decision hasn't been yours but your next choices for your life do belong to you.

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 19:50

So literally a few weeks together

very sensible

nothing you can do to support aside from 100% respect his decision

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 19:50

when did his MH start to deteriorate again?

Beth216 · 22/07/2024 20:03

They're ending it after just a couple of months. No matter what the reason it's a good idea to put it behind you and move on IMO. This is not a 20 year relationship with kids that you want to save. Don't sit around waiting for someone you barely know to see if they get better and then to see if they're still interested once they're better.

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 20:04

presumably a good part of those 2
months saw him in a serious mental health decline

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