DP and me have been dating for 2.5 years. The first 14 months we had intense chemistry. We laughed, spent time together and more importantly I felt valued, a priority and secure. I knew how we both felt about each other. We lived 45 mins away but made time to see each other At least 3 times week. We also both had our own friends and interests.
i moved in with him temporarily as i sold my house and bought an off plan new build. I was going to rent, but made sense to trial this. If it worked then he would rent his house and move in with me. After 5 years sell both houses and buy something together.
it didn’t work. Caring DP become moody, slept lots withdrawn and we ended up living as roommates. I asked him to see a GP as I thought he was depressed, but he ignored me. I felt he hated me and walked on egg shells. We split up for 4 weeks when I moved out. He contacted me to rekindle things as he confessed he was stressed with work, not sleeping and depressed. He did t know how to talk about it and wanted to ignore it. He got help when we were separated.
I agreed to try again with ground rules. He had to communicate with me, we were equal and we needed to ensure we spent quality time together. We are both in separate houses so need to plan in advance. So far it’s going ok. But I keep wondering if I am settling.
he does communicate how he is feeling. But we only see each other 1/2 days a week. At times he may cancel as too tired. He rarely stays over as he can’t sleep. However he still goes out weekly with friends. I don’t hear much from him when we are apart. Previously he was great at staying connected.
I have spoken about this to him and he says he is too tired to do anything and has muted his phone as he doesn’t want to feel pressured into answering it as that is affecting his stress. Says he loves me but is still having a tough time. He keeps saying he needs to go back to doctor, but there is always an excuse.
I have said it’s affecting us again because for us to continue needs to see his GP this week. He is off work this week and no plans do no excuse. He keeps coming up with things that may help, but when they fail he gets upset. Him getting upset is sitting in the pub. He had agreed he will call as I think it’s something like under active thyroid l, but blood test is needed.
When we are together he is great. We have a great time and he is loving. It’s the apart and planning that I find inconsistent. It’s not how we was previously.
I just don’t know to wait until he gets better. I am settling or to walk.