I need advice - and its not always leave or divorce. My husband and I have been fighting on and off for years. He has undiagnosed mental health issues and it seems to be getting worse. OCD/narcissistic tendencies. When we were dating I found medication for bi polar - he told me that he never took it and it was for anxiety. (Total BS) He cannot handle the small things in life - he has meltdowns over the smallest things. He shuts down and will go to bed for days - not talking to me or our child (currently in that stage). I have slept in a separate bed for over a year. He has no interest in intimacy with me - including kissing or even hugging. I have tried all ways to make it work, he will go to a few therapy sessions and then not go back. He is perfect in the session - admits he needs ways to cope and will work on it. Smiles at me - holds my hand. etc. He is very angry and miserable the majority of time (70% of the time). Complains about the day to day responsibilities of a normal person. Starts fights with random people, plumber/contractors/service workers/other drivers/ etc. He is intolerant of EVERYONE. Someone said something/didn't say something/didn't do something/ did something/ overly sensitive to everything around him. When he is upset/things don't go his way (always small things) he lashes out calling me names and yelling and screaming, belittling. Overreacting to everything in life - its exhausting walking on egg shells. When he is not in the narcissistic mindset - he is great (30% of the time). That's why i fell in love with him - he planned dates for us, we had good passion, loved traveling together, joking around and really enjoyed just doing anything together. I know he needs to make the decision to change and determine his priorities in life. We honestly have the perfect life - so that's why when he complains all the time i cant stand it - its a spoiled brat. We have a beautiful healthy smart child. I'm beside him to support him and help with with everything. Always putting my wants and needs aside for him. We have an amazing house that is the envy of the neighborhood. He just got a new job that is the best he has had. He gets everything he wants, in terms of gadgets/clothes/etc. While my child and I wear second hand clothes. He always needs to come first or we will feel the wrath. Not to mention he has eating issues. Will binge eat for a year - and gain 70 pounds, then restrict his eating and count every calorie on a chart for a year to lose 70 pounds. I'm at the point where i have no emotion or fight in me anymore. The most recent issue is that we went away on vacation for a week - yelled at me within 5 minutes because i didn't do the directions fast enough. Then within another 2 hours - i missed telling him a turn and we missed it. Yelled at me and ran out of the car into the forest. Staying with family - my mom talked too much, my dad said the wrong thing, the dog was too loud, people changed plans and wanted to do something different than what was planned - so he ended up in bed for a day missing fun activities and then wanted to leave a day before we were supposed to.
I have never felt so lonely in my life. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'm considering a trial separation for a month or so. But given his personality disorder issues - he wont care - he will be able to do what he wants, when he wants and how he wants. He will love it.