Why do we keep coming back to each other?

[ConfusedAgain1]

I met someone over a year ago when I was single. He was single too. The chemistry was the most craziest thing ever. We couldn't stay away from each other. Was meeting each other at his work like 4-5 times a day for weeks. Sleeping together constantly and really connected on a deep level, we both told each other our whole life story which I've never done before .

But then we both went back to our partners after a whilst due to pressure from them. For example I have 5 children his ex has mh issues and drinks badly and gets herself in states.

We both agreed to stop contact and we did for a whilst but then it all started again. Countless encounters at his work, sex at his job etc. sneaky visits to his brothers house on his break it just doesn't ever stop.

I know I'll be flamed for it but I had broken up with my partner but he hadn't left his due to her MH. Every time he's tried to break up with her she's done something bad like drunk cleaning chemicals. She then got him arrested for assault but he was with me so it didn't happen and police let him go.

I wouldn't have ever entertained a man in a relationship but I do understand why he can't just walk away. He can't move into mine as it's too soon for my kids who he has met and knows through his work. And he can't exactly find some where tomorrow.
She knows who I am now and spends most of her days abusing me online it's relentless.
It's just all a mess.
But i genuinely am in love with him and we cannot leave each other alone.

We could go weeks without speaking but the minute we see each other within hours it's off again.
The sex is the best I've ever had but it's not even about the sex. Most of the time we meet and it's just holding hands and talking. I don't know what I want from this post. I just don't "get it" I've never been involved in nothing like this before.

I do feel bad for her but 2 of her ex's have restraining orders on her so I do understand the fear of what if she does do something to herself or him. Shes had all her children removed because she's so bad. I just don't know what to do any more.

well this isn't going to end well is it... steer clear. Remove yourself from this situation. If he really deeply loved you then hell or high water couldn't keep him from being with you properly. Remember you are getting one side of this - his. Her side is probably that her DP is having an affair right out in the open.

Sorry I've also just seen that you've only known him just over a year...! You don't know this man at all

I don’t think he’s ever been single.

I also can’t imagine how two people who are madly in love with each then decide to go back to their former partners- regardless of situation

The crazy wife trope is a cliche. If she's that bad he needs to leave, if she threatens self harm then he calls an ambulance or the police for a welfare check.

If she's harassing you on social media, then block her.

Yes I'm afraid I'm not surprised the poor woman's mental health is bad considering she knows her partner is having an affair with you.

Sounds like a nightmare.

Your poor dcs.

All this teenage drama.

Cut him out of your life. Go cold turkey.

It sound like some awful soap opera.

OP you are obviously soul mates and twin flames and no amount of sacrifice is too much so that you can continue giving him hand jobs around the back of his work. Don't worry about your partner and kids or his partner either. Just keep going because how the fuck can anything compare to sneaking around with a man who is using you for sex and emotional gratification?

Run for the hills. You’re only getting his side of the story. I know he seems like the best thing since sliced bread but I think you probably (hopefully) know that you’re on a hiding to nowhere with this one.

It's just attraction- lust. Happens every day to billions of people around the world. Nothing special. He's a user who enjoys having the attention of two women.

I’d take the crazy wife stories with a massive pinch of salt - they all say it. It’s a tale as old as time.

Instead of asking yourself 'why do we keep coming back to each other' you should ask yourself 'if this man is so deeply invested in me why is he not in a relationship with me and instead just shagging me on his work break' and that way you will be more likely to give yourself an honest answer.

She's defo nuts. I did a Claire's law on him and was actually warned about her as she's got previous for stalking his ex's and has been in and out of prison from quite young. We both have ADHD so we are both quite impulsive too. We've never had an argument or nothing we do things outside of work like couples do but one of us ends up always blowing cold and then it starts again. We've met each others families and stuff. I can't explain it, it's not normal but it feels normal. Both are families are aware of the situation too.

If she is that bad, that's another reason to protect your safety and your children's safety and keeping well away from him. You're behaving really recklessly for a good shag/chemistry. He stays with her & keeps you on the side because he wants to.