Just wanted to offload here and share a bit of what's been swirling round my head recently and causing me (prob unnecessary stress - but I am a people pleaser and want his family to like me...)
For context - been together five years, late 40s, no kids, we live in London, his whole family (massive, talking more than 20...) live in the same town five hours drive away. We go there maybe twice a year.
He's not close to his family. He's masses of nephews and nieces (10) he barely sees...and it's always been that way with him.
I've felt increasing pressure to 'bring him closer' to the family, like I'm not living up to something. Told I'm his nephews' and nieces' aunt now (which feels like it comes with expectations) and lots of comments about 'so pleased you are around now' and messages always to me rather than him about staying with us/going to see his niece and nephews' events. Unhappiness we don't visit them more (it's intense and exhausting and we have busy jobs and lives and can't) I got a really unfriendly vibe when I showed his sisters pics of my nieces (who I'm v v close to) - just 'oh, girly'. I don't expect my partner to play uncle to them btw - he's just not that type of man. I don't really know why, maybe because there's a sense i should fully invest in their family now and not mine. I am from a very small family. Also told he's 'very protective' of his sisters (by them) when he's not close to them and besides, not sure why I have to be told this as out of blue.
I don't know...I just don't feel comfortable. He says to ignore but I don't want to be rude and my usual tactic is to be straight and talk to them about it but I can't really....
I'm just used to a very small family who never stay with each other and it feels pressured. I am also a very different person to them.
I can't explain it...just all leaving an uneasy feeling. Can any of you make sense of this and offer any help to calm my worries down that it could affect my relationship?