Would you be surprised by this?

[Thethingswedoforlove]

If your adult dd (mid 20s, living with her bf) spent 3/3.5 of her 5 weeks’ annual leave going on hols with old nuclear family where her bf wasn’t present at all? Does this seem healthy because her and bf are being free to do independent stuff and have outside interests or slightly odd that they didn’t want to spend more time together as a couple? It’s not me (my eldest dd is at uni ) but it is someone close to me and I’d like to know what the mn collective view is.

BF probably didnt want to spend all that time with her family,if he was invited that is.

Sounds fine to me they aren't joined at the hip.
As long as they're both happy ?

Don’t mean to be rude but …

None of your business?
If everyone finds it agreeable, what’s it got to do with anyone else?

One of the parents is happy and the other is more concerned.

@PashaMinaMio no. None of my business but possibly more the parent who is concerned’s business.

Some people like very enmeshed relationships - morning and evening texts, constant communication, even when they live together.

Some people are at the opposite end of that spectrum.

There is no right or wrong. If it works for the couple in question, it's fine. That it might not work for one of her parents is neither here nor there.

They live together, so it's hardly like they're not spending time together - maybe they like the break and having other things to talk about from being apart a little.

Not her parent’s business. My partner and I are very much in love but I’ve just been travelling for a month without him. It’s a healthy and secure relationship where you can do that, imo. Even if it is indicative of issues in their relationship, that’s not her parent’s business either! They’re adults capable of talking about their problems.

I'd guess bf isn't bothered about going and doesn't have issues with his gf enjoying herself or having a close relationship with her family

I'd say it sounds really healthy

I think it entirely depends in whether they are both happy with the arrangement. It's not what I would want (neither spending loads of annual leave with my parents/siblings etc or spending that time away from my DP). However, I have friends who have been married for decades and have always spent about 75% of their weekend/holiday time apart. They enjoy the time they spend together but both have hobbies that take up a lot of time and friends/family that they like to spend time with so they tend to each have a hobby holiday, holiday time where they separately go away with their own friends/family and a holiday together. They've always shared the child care duties pretty evenly, and now that the DC are teens they go along with whichever parent is doing something that interests them.

Good grief, the family should be delighted she is in a healthy relationship where they can both behave independently. Worst case would be she felt she couldn’t go as he wasn’t. That would be awful

the issue is not the daughter, it’s the parent who feels relationships should mean you can’t go and do things on your own. They need help