Can I hypnotize myself not to want this

[Bellisimo19]

My DP and I have been together almost 3 years and have 2 teens between us. We can't live together until they are a bit older. This is something we have discussed and agreed on. I regularly stay at his. He doesn't live too far from me. The thing is I struggle to accept that, although we will live together and this is something we both want long term, there is no timeline or clear plan when this will happen. This is because we don't know when the teens will leave home.
I can't talk to him anymore about this. He has done everything to reassure me so my security isn't the issue. I need to be able to forget this for the time being and accept the lovely relationship we do have. How can I stop thinking about this and feeling everything isn't enough. Things can't change because I don't want to live as a blended family so I have to be patient. I just feel so sad about it all the time. How do I accept this? Hypnotherapy or any other ideas to get this out of my mind. I'm having to face it every day and it's not getting easier.
Thanks

Do you often fixate on things, do you have history of this , it could be classed as obsessive or intrusive thoughts.

I have a similar situation with my DP. We both have pre teens. We can't live together for quite a while. We talk about future plans, we're trying to prepare well in advance...doing our own houses up, saving, that kind of thing. It's such a distant prospect. To be honest I just trust it and get on with enjoying things...it can be frustrating, especially not having your partner there day to day and having your back. We communicate by phone a lot. We are 4 years in, sometimes it feels harder as time goes on but mostly we've just got used to it and spend what time we do have doing things we love

Why can’t you live together? It’s a perfectly normal thing to want.

No I'm usually fine but I feel like this is something I can't get over. I can go for a few days and not feel this sad but it's generally at the back of my mind all the time. I just want to train myself not to want it so that in time when it does happen I can enjoy it then.

It wouldn't be the same. I think having teens could mean I would feel my attention would be divided. I don't think it's fair for them to have to share their home with their parent's partner. At the moment neither of us are in a pool to move house and neither location would blend well as it is. If I had a solution I would which is why I need to be able to get over this.

Buy a bigger joint house at the midway point?

I find little things upset me. Like hearing a friend complaining of her husband snoring or hearing friends doing home improvements together. He will help me whenever I need but things are always my decision and I'd love to share this. I don't feel like we're the same as other couples as though our relationship is less significant.

The teens are settled so it wouldn't seem fair to move them. They are local to friends and their lives. It should seem so simple but it isn't. Thanks though.

This is your decision, so kindly.. it can't upset you that much - otherwise you'd change it

🤷🏽‍♀️

Thank you and I appreciate it must seem like that. Really I'm after help to deal with my feelings rather than other solutions. I know there are practical ways to resolve it but nothing is suitable which is why I'd like to know how I cope with the upset or learn how to deal with it

I would just talk to him about the future, where he'd like to live when you move in together etc and watch and listen carefully to check you're on the same page.

Fwiw I think you're being sensible waiting. Dh and I got married and merged our 5 teens together. It was a f***g nightmare with one of his trying to kill our pet. They're (horrid) adults now but if I had my time again I would've waited.

Thanks for this. I know it's the right thing to do. It's just so hard to deal with.