Why do men have to be so arrogant?

[pinkbubble]

Is it just mine or are there plenty of other ladies out there that also have this problem!

I adore DH, would move heaven and earth, have been married to him for nearly 16 yrs, have 3 DDs. For a few weeks we have a great time then suddenly he gets a bee in his bonnet (this could be anything) and then suddenly he is awful and I mean awful.

Everytime he is awful , I seriously think about leaving him (honestly his mood is just dire)he is sarcastic, obnoxious, rude, arrogant, childish etc etc.......
But then I remember the good days and plod on, at the moment he is being his usual arrogant self and I have had enough!
Maybe in a weeks time he will have got over it and will be his lovely charming side of being a great DH and a great Father!

Thats better, rant over!

Hmm sounds just like my XH to be honest. In the end the 'bee in his bonnet' times started to outweigh the good days in my mind and the death bell sounded on our relationship as a couple.

I wish you much much better luck!

Oh thanks!

When we have the good days by gum they are good! Just hate the other days etc.
I know I am not perfect in any means, but I do know that he can be at times unreasonable when I want time off! I only work part time so he thinks that every afternoon I am not working I should be doing something constructive in the house. If I am not then I am losing interest in the project that we are doing. (even if I have 1 afternoon off!) I desp try to get him to have an afternoon/weekend off, he just moans about cost etc and then will not do it!

surely what you do in your time off is your business only?

does he suffer from man-PMT?its just the way you say 'every few weeks'

Diva you could be right!

Think I am just highly sensitive at the mo as I have 2 wks off work at the mo(work in a school) and he wakes me in the morn before he goes to work and asks me straight out "What are you up to today?"

I desp want to say "None of your bus!" but know what his behaviour will be!

Have you been able to have a serious talk about this with him and what has his reaction been? I mean does he have any idea that you are coming to the end of your tether?

I would totally say "None of your business" but then DH would know better than to ask. However my DH is utterly obnoxious in other ways so I suppose we all have our cross to bear. This sounds controlling to me. My BIL is like this. When my sister took some time between jobs he would come home inspecting the house to see what she had been up to all day.

No advice to give really. When DH is being a pain I have to think REALLY hard about his good points. When there stops being any is the day we part company.

I have spoken to him on numerous occassions and so has his Mother. But her excuse is that he is the spit of his Father.(the one that she divorced!) Nope, he has no idea that he is being unreasonable. He honestly thinks that he is ok, he can't see that he is doing anything wrong.

In his eyes, he doesn't hit, or swear, or treat us cruelly. What he doesn't realise is that he is horrid at times.

I could have written that OP Pinkbubble. My DH is great most of the time and montrous for small but regular periods. I just try to ignore him. Actually though I do make him sleep on the sofa when he's being horrible and try to force him to sod off fishing for a day or two and get it out of his system.

I feel for you. I hope it's over soon. Would there be any point bringing it up with him when he's not at his worst? Perhaps write him a letter about how it makes you feel and try to get to the bottom of it or work out a strategy together.

I think it's really hard for us women to see because we can't switch off our emotions and feelings for others in such a brutal manner. Sometimes I think, 'How can he love me and behave like this/say those things?' Then I remember his brain has compartments and some of them simply don't contain me.

Thanks Spider, that has brought a smile to my face.

I try so hard to get DH to get an outside interest, because at the mo he only has family or work. I have an outside interest once a week and I honestly think it irritates him. I will keep plugging away as I think when he is his nice self he is absolutely gorgeous and I feel I am the most luckiest wife in the world!

Yes same here PB. It's almost as if he makes himself completely invaluable by being so utterly lovely and helpful and loving.

Then in comes Alf Garnet for a bit.

Yes fishing is a life saver. He likes getting out into the countryside generally too. You'll have to persevere with an activity for you dh.

Somehow can't imagine him fishing! At the moment he is talking about going to Cardiff to watch rugby league in May. I am saying go, unfortunately he can't book into B&B etc, so we are now talking about me and him camping, while MIL has DDs. Anything for a quiet life!!

Oh God! That could go either way.

Good luck.

Thanks!

This is seriously controlling behaviour - unless you have the right to organise his days according to what you require, too? You have my every sympathy. Unfortunately, I'm with Citronella on this one. My xh was very much like this and I grew to hate him for this side of him (plus many other sides!) It knackered the relationship, because you are totally trapped if you just keep pandering to it. It feels like there is no way out of his control.

Not an uplifting reply. Sorry. I just wanted to empathise more than offer help, because I never resolved it myself

is my dh married to you lot as well?

this is exactly my dh

maybe its to do with the moon?

hes in a cross old bear mode at the mo too

Cross old werewolf mood, if it's to do with the moon, WGT

littlewoman thats a far more apt description

I can also empathise!

A word of warning... act on it, for right now I honestly can't say that I adore my DH, I think putting up with his crap has started to erode my feelings for him