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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not respecting my boundaries

5 replies

Gifgaf · 21/07/2024 09:58

* apologies a bit long*

Been with my DH since we were young teens. We went through a really rough patch while we were dating, which admittedly was mainly my fault. However, years later we tied the knot and had kids together. For a very long time now I have had this gut feeling that my DH is not as innocent as he portrays himself. Anything I bring up where I feel he has yet again violated my boundaries as his wife, he will get defensive and 9/10 not really take on board what I am saying. This has been going on for the last 5 solids years now. I am from a culture where they expect you to stick to your marriage no matter what, but it's affecting me very negatively everyday. I'll give an "innocent" example of something recently, I came across a picture of him with his arms around some woman from work/study background. I expressed how uncomfortable that made me, and that if it was me he would flip. Again, proceeds to not really take in that for me as a wife, that is unacceptable! 2 weeks later she invites him to some church thing on a weekend when we already have plans. It's an innocent example but I am at this stage of " I am done" that even something as small as that triggers me because I feel he completely misses the point.

I don't feel very intimate towards him as how I used to because of the build up of feelings I have. How do I sit someone down to express my boundaries as a wife and that I can't continue with someone who really does not listen and respect what I have to say.

Genuinely hurts me when I see husbands so proud to be married and respect and understand how important their marriage is and that nothing and no one should come close to creating a gap.

OP posts:
onhols81 · 21/07/2024 09:59

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onhols81 · 21/07/2024 09:59

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Gifgaf · 21/07/2024 10:00

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Yes, and currently pregnant again 😞

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onhols81 · 21/07/2024 10:01

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Gifgaf · 21/07/2024 10:02

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Would be with him

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