Bit of background: We had a pretty good sex life for the first 5 years of our relationship, but my husband has always had a slightly higher drive then me. I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 5 years, and my libido took a major hit during that time. I knew that my husband was frustrated with our significantly reduced sex life, but he was also very understanding and patient. He backed off trying to initiate, and I tried to get myself in the mood as often as possible (which admittedly was not super often). We both knew that the situation was not ideal, but we did our best to address the other's needs.
Cut to the present, and I have finally been done breastfeeding our youngest for a few months. I have finally started feeling normal and getting my libido back. Over the course of the last two/three months we have gone from once every week or two to closer to three to four times a week (and I would be open to more). The problem is that my husband is still not initiating at all. He still has made it known that he would love to be having more sex, but he very rarely does anything about it or does something at times that obviously are not happening (like when our infant, toddler, and preschooler are home and awake). We took an adult only vacation, and I was still the only one to initiate the whole trip. I understand that the years of dead (or at least on life support) bedroom have probably made it difficult for him to feel confident initiating, but I am not sure how much longer I can bear the sole responsibility of initiating sex. I have told him several times that my libido is coming back, and I feel my actions have shown that I am open to sex significantly more often then before. I had a talk with him specifically about his lack of initiation, but it has gone nowhere.
It takes a good deal of effort to switch into sexy mode after having wrangled three very active boys under 5 and having them fight over who gets to sit next to (or jump on) mommy through out the day. I was so excited to feel like my libido was returning, but it is starting to feel like a chore even when I really want sex when I am the only one initiating which is not helping me want to have more sex with him.
How do I make my husband feel comfortable initiating again? I am ready and willing to put in the work to fix our sex life, but how long is it expected for me to put in the majority of the effort to improve the situation before he trusts that he won't be turned down consistently?