Having read so many friendly and supportive responses to people's problems, I thought I'd see if anyone can offer me any advice. I've been married for 22 years and we have 2 lovely boys aged 16 & 17. My husband isn't a bad man but I have grown to dislike him very much; he's a high functioning alcoholic, has narcassistic tendencies and we don't live like man & wife any more (we sleep in separate bedrooms and last had sex several years ago). He's generous (especially towards other people's children as he likes to appear to be the knight in shining armour) and has a very calm temperament which is one of the things that really drew me to him. The problem is, I feel very trapped. He went to India for a month recently and it was the best time I'd had in a very long time. He has always been an island, coming and going as he pleases often putting drinking & socialising before family (I was away a few weekends ago and one of our boys called me to say he was really poorly but dad was out and not answering his phone. He was of course in the pub round the corner. I called him and he was very very drunk and said he'd pop home to check on our son, which he never did - the following day, whilst our son was still sick in bed, he took a friend's daughter shopping), living a chaotic, unpredictable and very unreliable lifetstyle (I've always said it's like having a 3rd child) and I've always felt like we're just a trophy family for him. He's extremely self-centred and I just think I'd now be MUCH happier on my own. The chaos of his life and the mess that he makes have just about pushed me to the limit; he's an absolute whirlwind and fails to do the basics such as closing wardrobe doors, leaves clothes and shoes scattered all over the place. When he is home he's usually sleeping - he often gets in from work, goes to bed for a few hours then gets up to go to the pub. It makes me so angry. I'm just wondering whether I wait until the boys are a little bit older and have both left school (in 2 years)......I am really scared about leaving the financial security (I also don't know how understanding he'd be splitting our assets; I fear he could turn quite nasty and make things difficult). Any kind advice anyone has from maybe being in a similar situation would be so so helpful. Thankyou