I wrote a couple of months ago regarding the messed up relationship with my parents following childhood SA, and their behaviour towards me after escaping an abusive marriage, asking if their behaviour was normal…!
I was overwhelmed by the responses, I had to remove the thread as I was worried about being identified.
I just wanted to provide an update as I wanted to give anyone who is trapped in / leaving an abusive relationship some hope. It’s been 3 years since I left my abusive exH and it’s taken a long time and a lot of sacrifice to get to this place, and a long time to realise how messed up my parents are and have been.
I moved out a few weeks ago into the most glorious house share with two lovely women, into a stunning building that is on the coast. I wake up to the most glorious sea view.
I have a new job I start in a few weeks with the loveliest people, working in a field that I have always wanted to work in, after years of retraining and not being allowed to leave the house when I was with my exH.
My finances are finally stable. My room is beautiful. I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I have so much peace. I haven’t spoken to my parents since I left (they haven’t spoken to me either, since telling me if I left anything at the house they would bin it or burn it…!) and to be honest it’s been easier than I thought was possible.
I have sacrificed a LOT to get here and it’s been unimaginably hard, but to anyone thinking of escaping abuse, or who has left and is still in the really tough part where it gets harder (because it does in a lot of ways…) I just wanted to say it DOES get better. It is worth it, and you can do it, with faith, patience, and self love. There’s been so many times I’ve thought it was all pointless along the way. That it would never get better. If anyone feels the same I just wanted to tell you it isn’t. And it does x