Phones !

[xTheLoudLeaderx]

My BF is so secretive with his phone. He doesn’t have any notifications turned on. I don’t know his passcode. I never ever touch his phone.
recently every time he’s been on his phone and I’ve walked past he’s just had it open on his Home Screen… weird !

Tonight we’ve had a few drinks and I think he thought I was asleep but I rolled over and he was on his archived WhatsApp chats - he quickly closed it off and went onto his camera roll saying he was “clicking through his phone” - I confronted him and he just blocked me out - said he needed to rest and he was looking at his pictures, I know what I saw and I said that and he’s just gone to bed !

advice ?

He’s currently using my data and phone hotspot for these conversations too - am I a mug for letting him carry on doing this ?

not a mug but i wouldnt . we use each others phones and know each others passwords. he only watches boring stuff so i have no intrest but i would be very suspicious x
sorry

I know, I read my message back saying “I’m not a mug” but everything following is muggy behaviour!!

Because I’ve confronted him he flat out won’t speak to me now, just gone to bed dismissing everything and blaming me - classic

We have an open phone policy in our relationship. We regularly catch up with mutual friends news by just reading each other's conversations!

Ok, so what do you think about my situation. To be in a 4 year relationship that’s actually stemmed from lies, and he knows my passcode but I haven’t got a clue if his,

There’s no trust. Just split.

This seems very off. Why is he being weird if he hasn't got anything to hide? Trust your gut feeling on this. Dealbreaker for me. Hope you're ok 💖

Yes weird. My DH and full access to each other's phones and devices. We don't tend to look but could if we wanted. Sometimes I grab his phone and use it for whatever if it's nearest and vice versa.

I know some people prefer not to do this and there's no underlying reason other than they want the privacy, but your examples go further than that with him actually hiding what he is doing if you accidentally catch a quick glimpse of his screen, and his reaction on being challenged is also really suss.

It's not the wanting or expecting access to the phone, it's the wanting a male that doesn't mind acess to his phone.

I think one day I'll be written into marriage vows, "with this ring I thee wed, with this phone I allow access" 😂

Really, open phone policy says so much about a man or a couple.

People who love, honour and respect their life partner do not have secrets, or deny access to the most advanced piece of equipment that enables secrets to be kept.

My Ex was always very overprotective with his phone too. Not so much in the early days but towards the end of the relationship.

I'd be very suspicious of his behaviour.

My ex was also archiving chats to the OW who he was having an affair with.

I demanded to see his phone and he refused, that told me all I needed to know.

The relationship ended.