I wonder if I'll ever experience romantic love again ..

[goldoe]

I'm 50 and have just finished up with my therapist. She was incredible and I worked hard to do the work of dealing with parenting solo, loneliness , divorce due to him
Cheating and leaving and childhood trauma.

What really came out was that I always felt inferior to men and behaved accordingly.
I was brought up in a home where men were revered. They were treated better than the women in our home.

I used to be in awe of my girlfriends and their naturally chatty selves around men. I used to shut down and get defensive or just said nothing. My guard was up.

I was in many relationships where I was used and treated like their slaves in many ways. I enabled this completely.

I see all of this now and I cannot quite believe the turn around in my exchanges and interactions with all people, EAP men of my age.
I feel that for the first time in my life, I am an equal and my natural chatty, sociable, smiley side has come out and the effects of my interactions with people have completely blown me away, in such a positive way.

I'd love to fall in love again.
I'd love to finally at fifty , meet my equal , a good, kind and funny partner to share the journey.
Is there hope?
The men I briefly interacted with on line were generally horrendous eg cheaters, liars, scrooges.
Awful things.
I just feel so ready and so excited for the next chapter and perhaps for the first time to hopefully experience real equal love and respect .
I just don't know if these great men exist and are available.

At this age no, I'm afraid they don't exist unless they are already happily married.
Once you've had your eyes opened you won't let yourself date the dross that's on the apps.
For a woman past the age of around 45, the route to happiness post separation or divorce is good friends, your kids (if you have them pets and hobbies.

Thank you but that's disappointing!
I've wonderful kids and friends. Not so many hobbies as I don't get a lot of alone time but I do walk, socialise and adore my work so that's it for now I guess.
I think maybe the key is getting on with life and finding happiness in the everyday and let life unfold naturally.
Who knows...

Oh my god, do not heed that previous post!! Of course there are good men out there! You sound wonderful and like you said live your life for you and what's meant to be will come your way!! If there are good women over 50 there are good men! Good luck OP, hope you find happiness and someone who is good to you!

My mum remarried at 56 and is happiest she has ever been! Don’t give up hope

I can think of several women I know who have found love after the age of 50 and married post-divorce- one in particular has a very 'soppy' sort of romantic relationship with her husband (not a criticism, just can't think of another word to describe it).

Don't give up but do accept you may have to weed out a lot of dross; don't lower your standards and whatever you do, if they ask for money (even small amounts) run a mile as scammers particularly target women in the 40+ age bracket.

They absolutely do exist! I met one of them last year when I was 51. I’ve never been in such a healthy and respectful relationship before.. poor choices on my part previously.. I stayed single (ish.. nothing serious anyway 😉) for 6 years until I found it.. and I have… he is different to my usual ‘type but we just ‘fit’! I am 100% myself with him and he still loves me lol. So don’t fret… just take your time.. and wait for what you want… it is out there… the timing might just not be quite right yet 🥰🥰

As a fellow 50+ divorcee who has a large friendship group of single older ladies, it’s possible but the pickings are very very very slim.

Mostbof my friends have been single at least 4 years and up to 12 years without fleeting anyone despite having very active social lives. Most have tried OLD with limited success.

Though to tell you the positives. My friend gets married next month at age 59. They met at a music festival in Croatia 3 years ago. And my lovely neighbour met the love of her life at 62 and they’re the happiest couple I know.

So I would say it can happen but be aware there’s a lot of dross out there to wade through in the hope of finding a diamond. Just keep your standards high and set boundaries - don’t settle out of loneliness

Thank you all so very much!
Believe me.,, I've met the dross. The final online date I had a few weeks ago was with a man who has a 20 year old child. He was abroad with all of his family but she wouldn't come despite it being paid for and being v close with her cousins of same age etc so I noted that.

As the night went on it transpired that his exp spent years 'dragging him and out of court for money'. I live in Ireland so we're very unprotected regarding maintenance etc so I can only imagine the pittance this wealthy businessman was giving her to raise their child and the stress and expense for her to keep going to court .

This guy works 2 days a week' because he can'.

I had enough at that point , so I got up and before I left, told him that he was an absolute disgrace to good men and fathers generally. He was absolutely shocked and perplexed....

That was my moment of ' fuck this for a game of cards'.

I realised there and then that he was representative of so many men that I had chatted to and met on line except this fella was such a fucking idiot, he didn't even try to hide his hideous treatment of the mother of his daughter nor his daughter, herself.
That's the end of online dating for me.

I really do hope I meet someone lovely and thanks for the positive vibes .

I just hope it's not too late.

Im in a similar situation to you, @goldoe. At 45 with 2 children and separated for 2 years, I have drawn a blank so far in finding someone in real life. I don't think I carry baggage around feeling inferior to men and have several male friends from my 'couples' friends group as well as colleagues and batchmates I am close to, but all are married / in relationships. Just registered on an OLD platform and slim pickings. I feel very sad at the thought of not having anything to look forward to romantically. Even an FWB type non exclusive relationship will do but I do need the F part of it than just the B!

I'm a 52 year old female and really struggling to meet any else. I don't have any issues getting likes on apps (but other women probably don't either) but I don't seem to like any of them and think the platform isn't the best way to meet someone.

Very lonely here 😔.