FWB having an emotional affair w married woman

[Fwbdilema]

Hi everyone,

I would appreciate your advice on my friends with benefits of a few months. We were friendly before we started hooking up, we made it very clear from the get go we don't want a commited relationship with each other. But last week when we were talking I found out he has feelings for a married woman I've never met, essentially they talk every day and she's even asked him to get physical with her but he's said no because she's married. Of course I've heard A LOT about her while we've been seing each other, I thought they just had a little crush on each other at first.
The ISSUE is I got involved with him thinking he was single, I know it's stupid but I feel like he's involved with someone even though they arent physical. I feel like the other woman.

Should I drop the benefits for that reason?
Does this make sense or am I being too sensitive?

I feel betrayed as he has always said he didn't want a relationship, essentially he wants one with her. Please help TIA

No more benefits. If you care about him having a relationship with this woman you are too attached. I would back away and give myself some space from this friendship while I detached.

@StormingNorman thank you. I didnt think I was that attached, I dont want a relationship with him but it feels weird now

This.

@smallmountainbear thanks

Are you in that weird space where you don’t want a relationship with him, but don’t want anyone else having a relationship with either? It’s not entirely logical but I get it.

If you are feeling jealous, and you don't like it, it's no longer friends with benefits.

@StormingNorman well i dont want to be the other woman. İf he's in a relationship, i dont want to sleep with him lol

Yeah i know its entirely illogical, i guess thats why im asking for opinions😂

Exactly that too! Sounds like time for a new friend 😉

The whole point of fwb is not having feelings for each other. The fact he has feelings for another (unavailable) woman shows that he doesn't for you. The fact you're jealous of him having feelings for someone else shows that you've caught feelings. It's probably time to put this one to bed (the metaphorical one).

Thanks for all your advice, I will act on it and move on x

Doesn't sound illogical to me. If you're feeling this way, it's not going to do what you want it to do. Also, having an emotional affair with a married person would give me the ick anyway. It sounds like the beginning of a mess, which there is no reason for you to remain in proximity to.

@PregnantWithHorrors thank you, you have understood my point entirely. If that is thr case then I need to get out of that mess before it blows up!

That would be my thought too.

And it wouldn't hurt getting a sexual health check.

He sounds rather mixed up.

I would!