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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do you call someone who uses another person to fill their need?

31 replies

Whatdoyoucall · 19/07/2024 12:38

I think I have someone in my life like this. They use people to fill a need they have (it’s definitely fear of being abandoned). They cover it up with saying it’s love but it really doesn’t feel like it. It’s suffocating.

OP posts:
Whatdoyoucall · 23/07/2024 13:58

They abandon you.

OP posts:
LuckyOnes · 23/07/2024 14:10

Human, I think. Many people seek out people who fill a need in them, sometimes without realising it.

roses321 · 23/07/2024 14:16

Whatdoyoucall · 23/07/2024 13:58

@roses321 so they a wolf in sheep’s clothing, they are pretending and using others to get their needs met. They aren’t really human.

Depends on the person, they're just different and varying personalities.

I wouldn't say they're not human, they obviously are human, but they just operate in a different way to what most people would call "normal". Whether they're a wolf depends entirely on how much harm they do to you.

On the lower end there are emotional vampires who will suck your time and energy and they generally like people pleasers and people who struggle to say no, they are needy and clingy and constantly victimising themselves.

Higher up i guess are people who will tell you everything you want to hear and will cheat/lie/deceive/be devious in order to get something they want off you. Con folk basically... and if you push back on it they will become extremely abusive.

Higher up still are malignant narcissists who are bullies, want attention, admiration, genuinely feel like they're better than other people and have no issues using people as stepping stones. All very nice at the start though, but the nasty side soon comes out. Everything is about them, they usually are in leadership positions because of bolshy self promotion and ruthlessness.

Above that are sociopaths who couldn't give a fuck about right or wrong, take advantage of others with absolutely no remorse, are extremely charming and witty (like malignant narcissists), think they're better than everyone else, and are often criminals.

Above that? Psychopaths... purely because they don't actually have any remorse because they don't really feel emotions the same way as other people if at all. They can quite easily drown a puppy and feel zero shits. A lot of pyschopaths actually aren't nasty people, they're just people with no emotions, but if they are nasty people and they are also pyschopaths then yeah... dangerous. But any of these folk are not good for you to be honest.

Whatdoyoucall · 23/07/2024 14:24

In my case it’s family and to be abandoned especially emotionally is hurtful and has in the past been extremely damaging.

OP posts:
Whatdoyoucall · 23/07/2024 15:45

Do they know they don’t have any emotions or feelings or do they think that’s how we all are?

OP posts:
ticktickticktickBOOM · 23/07/2024 15:48

parasite?

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